For many years, I had a successful spiritual counseling/coaching
practice in Florida. If I could distill all the techniques down to the
ones that made the greatest positive difference and amazing life
changes in the least amount of time, it would be healing the inner
Sub-Personalities. So I want to share that with you here.
Healing Your Inner Saboteurs, Loving Yourself,
your True Motivation
if I shared with you all the phenomenal tales of success and almost
unbelievable stories of the transformations of my clients, this article
would be a very big book. And also, if I detailed out all the
meditations and visualizations that I created and used for my clients,
then this would be a very long book as well!
forgive me if I suggest things to do but don’t take you by the hand
through them all. What I feel is the very most important technique, I
do delineate in more detail. That has to do with finding and living
according to your true motivation. This is the foundation of Destiny,
of Enlightenment, of being your Greater Self.
So here is what
I’ve learned in a “nutshell” (even if it’s a long article) while
working/researching with metaphysical manifestation, experiencing deep
emotional releases and healing, creating a wondrously loving and
fulfilling relationship, and coaching others through their unique
A Powerful Path Home
greatest blockages to happiness do not come from others outside of us,
but from within us. How we see ourselves, and how we value, and love
ourselves determines how much fun, joy, love, fulfillment, and
happiness we’ll create and accept into our lives. When we are
self-aware, we can consciously and deliberately create more fun and
fulfillment for ourselves.
I used the following tips
and techniques to personally step into the New World (Divine Beingness
and Home on earth), and I extend that invitation to you. The key to
this New World is, as always, your empowered capacity to step into your
Greater Self and live your mundane life at a consistently higher
frequency than that of the mainstream or consensus reality that you
Some of you call this Ascension, others
Transcendence, and still others Emotional Freedom. To sustain your
higher consciousness level and get into the Divine Flow, you need to
have Self-Awareness of yourself and how you are creating your reality,
both in positive or negative ways. Only then can you take
responsibility and empower yourself to change, heal, and craft the life
you want. This article will focus on Self-Awareness of your inner
When you have Self-Awareness, you can see that what
you perceive, feel, think, believe, and do has an impact on your
reality and your personal Universe as a whole. You make the difference
in your own life, and you impact those around you with your attitudes,
life strategies, and outlook on life. To truly use Self-Awareness as a
conscious being, you need to know about the parts and pieces of your
Self, your Self-Image, and your personality. Plus, you also need to
know what can sabotage and destroy you as well as those parts that
uplift and heal you.
Your Sub-Personalities or Inner Selves
These parts are your sub-personalities,
“you’s” that do not dominate the spotlight of your Self-Image. They
need to be healed. That’s because they are from your past, where you
held lesser frequencies of you. Your old identities were made up of
lower vibes that the one you have today. Sub-personalities are also
energetic “structures” of belief and thought you have used to maintain
consistency and predictability in your life. And they are filters, i.e.
ways to interpret input from the world. Even though these structures or
filters are not really “you,” I personify them so that it is easier to
interact with them and heal them.
Like everyone else, you grew
up in a culture, a collective where you were given these identities as
ideas of you to work with until you grew up and figured out your own.
Your parents and authority figures provided models to mimic so that you
would apply these identities into your life. You built up identities
and self-images (ideas of yourself), beliefs, and perspectives during
childhood and adolescence, all the way to adulthood. They enabled you
to learn, discover, grow, function, set goals, and take appropriate
actions for yourself. They have worked beautifully for you, and they
are necessary to have. You have survived childhood and adolescence to
get into adulthood, which is their major purpose.
adulthood, you have the opportunity to reassess these identities,
orientations to life with their strategies, and belief structures. Many
of them are very limiting, as they come from a time when you didn’t
know as much as you do now, when you didn’t have a clue about your
spiritual self, and were subjected to the intense focus of gender
training (that I call the Man Code Training and the Good Girl
As an adult, you can choose whatever you’ve learned
that is in alignment with you and your future, as well as learn new
approaches to life. That means assessing your Visions and Dreams and
also assessing where you are now, plus where you want to go from here.
This assessment is more critical to do especially at this time on the
planet, because now is the time you have incarnated for, in which you are poised to take a huge spiritual consciousness leap!
these amazing years, you’ll have the opportunity to move beyond the
limitations of the collective, consensus or mainstream reality. You can
now transcend the gender training from your youthful days that has kept
you imprisoned energetically, limited, small, and with your future
Your sub-personalities and
identities exist within the collective or tribal orientation of your
collective, so when you leap in consciousness and open to your Divine
Plan, you can expand to become that Greater Self of your Destiny. But
simultaneously with your leap of consciousness, your inner identities,
your sub-personalities, are threatened. They will feel abandoned, lost,
and can pull you back into your Lesser. Now they think that they are
safe. But you have fallen back into an old rut!
You see, you
have grown beyond these old “you’s.” If you cannot sustain your higher
resonance consistently, naturally, and normally, they become
limitations that are a drag on your progress. When you have a “test”
(see article on this at greaterselfprocess.com), they can snap you back
into an old, limited identity, which then attracts a smaller and lesser
reality. This is not what you want. Your reaction to this snapback is
often to doubt yourself, get angry, or otherwise continue the old
identity’s limited behavior until it sabotages your growth path, your
manifestations, and your Divine Flow. After a while, you’ll pull
yourself back up and start over, expanding yourself again. But you can
lose a lot of time and experience too much stress in this arrangement!
you can heal your sub-personalities by loving them and healing your
relationship with them. Then they will give you your freedom while at
the same time give you the gifts of their most positive potential. This
freedom and positive potential resonate at the level of your Greater
Self and thus support your spiritual path as well as all of your
As you heal them, you experience a
grander sense of wholeness and integration within you that is very
satisfying and self-loving. With your internal conflicts resolved, you
exist in a space of harmony, freedom, and peace. Then you enjoy the
Divine Flow, finding your Reality supportive and kind. Perhaps best of
all, you can express the Divine within you in your own unique and
creative way – your Personal Mission on earth.
Saboteurs or Portals to Happiness?
my practice, I found six most common sub-personalities that could
sabotage my clients’ success in all life areas. These six could keep
them small (held back, limited, , held unreasonably to their past
traumas and issues, and stunted in their capacity to dream a better
future for themselves. The key, as I’ve mentioned before many times
during the Siriun Year, is Self-Image. When my clients held onto an
outdated and limited self-image, they simply could not heal and move
on. We would process and process, shifting all the emotions, and that
was really helpful. But everything limiting seemed to be held in place
by their sub-personalities. So when we shifted the Self-Image by
healing the sub-personalities, my clients would make profound and
moving leaps of consciousness! They’d receive the gifts of their
positive sides that would majorly “happify” them. It was like magic!
call these important parts and pieces the Inner Selves. When I had my
emotional and spiritual counseling practice, I found that healing the
Inner Selves was the quickest way to achieve outstandingly positive
life changes to anyone who was willing to do the work with me or on
their own. Not that working with the Inner Selves was a lot of work. It
was intriguing, loving, and fun most of the time. We could accomplish
in one session a resolution to years of suffering! And those who
continued to work and play with their Inner Selves onward found that
they loved, valued, and empowered themselves much more. This
self-valuing is basic for a happy and successful life.
I want to
share with you those six major Inner Selves or sub-personalities I
worked with. While humans have many, many identities that could be
considered Inner Selves or sub-personalities, these six are the most
pivotal I’ve found to becoming a powerful, mature, free adult being. An
adult is someone who is loving and loved, walking on his or her true
spiritual path of Destiny, and responsible, accountable, and empowered.
Radiant, successful, celebratory, a true Adult Self is magical and
incorporates these “Power Six” in their most exalted form.
have found and worked with inner selves from the womb all the way
through my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood to the self I was just
last week! Anything I do with these past selves has helped me heal
every issue I have had. In the process, I discovered how a limitation
hinged on one of these Inner Selves, keeping me from accomplishing
things, being creative, following through on projects, and more. I have
freed myself from their sabotage. And now when an issue arises, I can
immediately identify the one that is snagging me the most and heal it.
changes I’ve experienced by healing them have given me a joyous
approach to life, love, and success that I never thought possible
before. So I give this article to you in the hopes that you too can
experience the freedom and power that I have. What you will learn in
this article is distilled from my many years as life coach, counselor,
psychologist, astrologer, and hypnotherapist. It may appear to be too
much to grasp at first, since as is usual with me, it’s a long,
in-depth article! However, if you have a healing practice, or just want
to heal yourself and be helpful to others, you will find a phenomenal
pathway laid out here and pretty much ready to go for you!
The Inner Child
have probably heard about the inner child self, the personality of you
between birth and puberty. You may have even attended a workshop or
read a book about it. You also probably know that small, innocent part
of you that still exists inside you today. It is still alive within
you. It has not disappeared or vanished into the dust of time. The
Inner Child is familiar, well-known, and part of the language of
emotions and psychology. For that reason, this section is probably the
briefest of the six.
Being small and innocent, na´ve, and
psychically open, your Inner Child self can feel insecure, and it still
wants attention, love, and security. It wants to have fun and toys too.
So where is it going to get these things? It cannot manifest in the
now, only YOU can. So your Inner Child is hanging out with you waiting
for you to give it what it wants and needs. If you find yourself
wanting a shiny new car, craving hugs, wanting to be nurtured, or
feeling overwhelmed with stresses, this is your inner child talking to
you. He or she is asking, no, demanding that you fulfill its needs so
that you can survive and feel safe and secure. When you give your inner
child what it wants and needs emotionally and mentally, this self will
heal, and the darkness deep within you as well as that insatiable
neediness will begin to fade.
So how do you give love and
goodies to your Child Self? Do a meditation, a visualization, and be
creative about it. Perfect and happy loving parents? Check. Loving
siblings? Check. Loyal and fun playmates? Check. Those toys and comic
books? Check. Of course, always give it lots of security and love. Then
your inner child will offer you his or her gifts, that are of course,
also yours. You will becomes more playful, creative, and magical, and
the adult you then experiences a positive shift in your perspective.
changes your self-image and opens the way to love and value yourself.
If you have children, you know the feeling of love for them. Have that
same love for your own little one, and you will be happier as an adult.
You’ll be able to see the potentials and possibilities of life more.
Adding in the responsibility capacity you have as the adult you are,
you are able to choose and live with more fun, laughter, and joy.
The Inner Parent
of healing the inner child self’s fears and insecurities involve
another inner personality, that of the inner parental self. They
function as a pair. The inner parent is an internal representation of
your parents, but it encompasses all authority figures of your
childhood, such as religious and community leaders. Although your
parents were very different from you, you internalized them, their
belief systems, and their control of your behavior.
By the age
of 10, you had internalized your parents into what you would call your
Conscience. You knew what you could do, what you were supposed to do,
and what you would be punished for. In this conscience was also a
self-judgment of being “bad” or “good.” Some people consider this
morality training, but it’s mainly (at least at first) an inner and
learned self-control, although I can testify that it doesn’t always
For many people, the prohibitions given by the parents
become permanent principles of life. Many rebel against them, but all
utilize these original “instructions” in life as an archetypal
reference point or yardstick against which every success or growth can
be measured. That is, unless and until people consciously and
deliberately heal the internalized parent self and select their own
principles and moral guidelines.
Your Conscience was “installed”
in you by you (with help from your parental teachings of course) in
order for you to have some behavior rules until you were old enough to
choose them for yourself. It’s nature’s way of protecting you until you
are mature. But once your Conscience was installed, your internalized
parent archetype would control your behavior through your own inner
mind talk. You know, that chatter that goes on in your head all day?
(or rather your internalized parent) could control your behavior, even
if no parents were actually physically present. In time, you began to
think that this voice in your head was your own inner authority, and
you sought it out whenever you wanted to do something new. Whenever you
considered doing something of your own inclination, your internal
parent would tell you whether it was okay to do that or not. Since you
feared getting in trouble, you listened to your internal parent to lay
the rules down.
When considering an adventurous action, the
internal parent would say something like “if you do this, you could be
punished,” or, “you’re not allowed to do this” or even worse, “You are
a bad person if you do this. Shame on you!” This parental self was so
real to you that you could feel anxiety over the prospect that you were
going to be in big trouble if you did this thing!
wholly a bad or difficult thing, this internal parent. In fact, when
you nurture yourself and take good care of yourself, you are tapping
into the loving and nurturing inner parent, the one who roots for you,
who’s your cheerleader, and who reminds you to do what you need for
your health and well-being. But generally, most people seem to be
engaged in an inner drama between their inner child, who they identify
with, and that inner (or even outer) authority that is limiting them.
relationships, notice how easy it is to take either the parental or
child side in an argument! The child, pouting, indignant, feeling
mistreated, and the parent, exasperated with the immature thinking and
acting of the other one, and trying to convince the other to grow up!
As in all arguments, both want to be right!
So your limiting,
critical, controlling internalized parent can stay with you throughout
your life until you fire it. Yes, you fire it just like an employee!
It’s functioning as an assistant to you and helps trigger your growth.
You don’t give it everything like you give your Inner Child everything
it wants. It has a function to do, but it’s not a real version of you.
already talked about how everything you come into contact with, every
challenge, is actually an opportunity to grow, to expand your light,
and to learn who you are. The internal parent is no different from any
other challenge. It behooves you to identify its rules, fire the
limiting parent, and bring the gifts of the nurturing/loving parent
more into your life to experience more self- love and value.
how can you identify this sub-personality today? Listen to your mind
talk tell you that “you should,” “you need to,” “you ought to,” “you
have to,” or “you got to” do certain things. If you don’t follow these
admonitions, you can feel uneasy and even afraid of getting into
trouble somehow, even if you’re 60 years old?
Or maybe, when
you hear this kind of mind talk, you get rebellious and resistant
against the inner parental commands. This can drive your behavior and
motivation in instinctual, unconscious ways. You are at the mercy, so
to speak, of the whole collective, the patriarchy, as the internal
parent carries all the social and cultural traditions automatically
within it. So people can deliberately and angrily act like children,
like brats, and do whatever they feel like! Identifying with the child,
people say they are free thinkers and rebels, no matter their age.
other words, you could rebel against yourself all by yourself! You
could do this by separating out two sub-personalities, the child and
the parent, and having them relate to each other as you and your
parents related, or relating to each other in an argument. Then you can
oversee the conflict and resolve it in meditation, so that your inner
child and your inner parents can heal their relationship completely. If
dad was an alcoholic, you can heal that in your meditation and the two
of you can then be at peace and love together. When this happens on the
inner, it will affect all your relationships with authority or moody,
difficult people on the outer!
At some point, you will have to
grow up and stop being a rebel, the sooner the better. You will need to
reinforce your own inner authority and power. Most psychological
counseling focuses on child-parental dynamics, because you need to be
free of this conflict in order to live a good life, no matter how nice
and wonderful your parents were to you growing up. This “split” of self
between child and parent is very important when it comes to your
motivation, as you shall soon see.
The Inner Adolescent
the child and parent, the adolescent self who comes later also speaks
inside your head. It’s also vying for your attention. Remember your
teenage years – those years that started just before puberty (hormones)
hit and ended as you went to college or got out into the world – the
Middle School and High School years? Who doesn’t? Like virtually
everyone else, you most likely got emotionally wounded at this critical
time of change.
Adolescence is a time when you were terribly
concerned with what other people thought about you or you were busy
rebelling against or defending yourself mentally against what you
thought other people were thinking about you! While you had mixed
feelings about the role of your parents, you rationalized that your
parent’s acceptance of you was critical for your support, but mainly,
you wanted to be accepted by your peers. You wanted to be seen as
sophisticated, cool (or whatever the lingo was at that time), and
accepted. The three issues of validation, approval, and acceptance
enable a teenager to feel BELONGING. These three issues need to be
resolved for your Inner Adolescent to be happy, and for you to be free
of societal pressures on you today.
Your Inner Adolescent can be
a rebel on one hand and a conformist on the other, and both at the same
time! They can consider themselves “free thinkers,” yet never think
beyond the conformist belief and attitude box of their clique. No
matter what polarity the adolescent is on, whatever side they take,
politically (in the High School sense), they are so passionate about it
that it’s black or white, almost life or death! This is because the
inner adolescent is hit with a huge surge of hormones and thus feels
great intensity and passion about everything.
searches for the best clique to identify with and belong to, and
identifies with one group against another. This “my group” vs the
“other group” creates lots of separation, division, competition,
and encourages duality-extremism, i.e. thoughts of good vs. bad/evil,
right vs. wrong, you’re with me or you’re against me. What is
hard is if you are exiled from your peer group clique and become an
outcast. Then you have to justify yourself by holding a noble rebel
self-image. You’ve probably seen a lot of adolescent behavior in
reality TV, and also in politics. Yes, it’s in the teen years that you
really get to experience politics first hand amongst your peers, in
school, and in the world.
Adolescence is a time of extreme
social, behavioral, and gender extremism. Boys try to be manly and
girls try to be grown up. Your perception of your gender, sex, and
social belonging can bring intense emotional pain if you feel like an
outcast. You yearn for physical intimacy in a relationship or just hot
Gender programs are at their peak in adolescence and
create the greatest suffering and dilemma in people. In the typical
traditional girl cultural program (I call it the Good Girl Training),
girls desire to be beautiful, fashionable, and belong to a great top
clique. They can pine for their ideal man (lover or husband to be),
perhaps a celebrity, who will whisk them away to an ideal kingdom (big
house on the hill, private yacht, cabin in the woods, etc.) and make
tender love to them. They may dream of a big wedding, the fantastic
dress, and of being the princess, the admired and loved one.
real life, however, they are trained to defer to the needs of others,
to be kind, nice, and good, never angry or insulting. Of course, it is
hard for a girl to shrink herself down into the strict boundaries of
gender correctness, so you don’t necessarily see this “good” side until
the girl gets into a marriage or significant relationship. That’s where
the dysfunction often shows up between what a girl thinks she must be
and who she actually is.
The standard traditional boy program
(the Man Code Training) keeps boys fantasizing all day about sex, being
heroes, and climbing the hierarchy of other males to be respected and
admired. Or it can be the polar opposite - being the noble rebel, the
successful one that challenges the established order to be free, wild,
and adventurous (and of course, wealthy beyond their dreams). They
fantasize also simply about being respected and admired as they impress
others with their smarts, money, looks, and gorgeous dates.
real life, they take on the attitude of entitlement, and simply feel
themselves to be superior to girls. This actually came in in late
childhood, but it shows itself in adolescence as well. But then, with
wounding, even the most arrogant and aggressive male will get reserved
and try his best to get along with the more admired males amongst his
Those who do not fit the traditional gender pattern
or hold the same interests can feel like outcasts, even if their clique
doesn’t reject them. I remember being interested in Native Americans
and Classical Orchestral music. Nobody else in my high school in a
small Tennessee town was into that – nobody. I was the oddball.
Nowadays you’d call me a nerdy girl. I had fussy/frizzy bad hair,
glasses, and braces all at the same time! This is often typical of
adolescence. Did you ever see pictures of yourself from this life area?
Women often call them their “ugly pictures.”
Those who didn’t
fit the gender programs, who knew that they were gay, queer, or trans,
had it much tougher. They feared that they were wrong or bad and would
be attacked, shamed, and more. Many if not most had to hide. One young
man I knew back in Tennessee never dated, always was interested in deep
conversations about history, and lived a solitary life. In my heavily
fundamentalist Christian community, he could not come out of the closet
or let anyone get to know him closely. How many lives have been shut
down by social disapproval?
I hope that it is easier today, if
one is living in a liberal enclave, but even then, adolescence is a
tough time for everyone who is trying to figure out who they are when
the options given them by society are still limited. Only once people
grow into their twenties, can they begin truly discovering who they
are, and what they can do.
However, despite all the dreadful
teen angst, adolescence has its upside too. This period sees an amazing
capacity for learning skills, discovering your interests, creativity,
and having a thirst and curiosity for learning about a lot of things
(not necessarily your schoolwork!). The gift of a healed adolescent
self is to find joy in doing your own thing, getting engaged and
involved with your interests, creative projects, and learning about
something so passionately and deeply that you become an authority in
As with anything, you have both polarities here, both
positive and negative. Adolescents who act out, shoot other kids, run
away to join a gang, or get addicted to drugs are falling into their
negative side. Adolescents who are creative and outspoken can become
This negative, painful side is what needs healing,
and the positive side needs encouragement, similar to the inner child
and the internal parent. It’s easy to heal the adolescent. Let your
inner teenager be irresponsible, wild, and free. Imagine everything
that your teen self wants, all the glory, fun, adventure, craziness,
self-expression, creativity, travel, money, fame, fabulous sex, and big
time love. And remember those three biggies - validation, approval, and
acceptance? See your inner teen experiencing that as well in your
Do it until your adolescent self is totally
saturated, totally satisfied, like after great sex. Yes, let your inner
adolescent get laid big time! After a while, your teen self will
stop pressuring you to conform to your peers, show off, or seek
security with someone who accepts you. You will begin to feel free to
explore your own interests whether others are excited about them or
needs an ego while living on the physical plane with its illusion of
separation from the Divine. Your ego is with you from birth because you
need it to hold that boundary that distinguishes who you are from
everyone and everything else. I’ve known people whose ego is virtually
nonexistent or lacking in boundaries, and these people cannot know who
they are. They cannot distinguish themselves from their family member,
mates, friends, or even co-workers. It’s a tough place to be,
disorienting and lost. You don’t want to give up your ego, only give up
the negative, destructive side. Instead you want to understand it and
allow it to be a positive and helpful self of yours.
the ego like your cell’s membrane or cell wall that gives and receives
messages from the outer world. On your cell wall, you have receptor
sites that communicate with the chemicals around it and admit and
accept those that fit the needs of the cell. Other, errant chemicals
are blocked. Like that cell wall, your ego admits in some types of
information and energies and rejects others.
similarity ends there. The ego filters your reality for you. It takes
your beliefs, your feelings, and your attitudes, along with the
decisions you’ve made, and it brings to you what reflects that. It can
bring to you what you request and want. In that sense, it operates like
your assistant who brings you your lunch or sets up your appointments
as part of his or her job. How you, as the boss, treats your assistant
determines how well the assistant complies with your commands.
you didn’t grow up emotionally (and how can you when your culture
doesn’t reward maturity?) or you had difficulty knowing yourself and
making good decisions for yourself, you were unable to be a good
“boss.” Your ego acted just as immature, weak, ignorant, and
na´ve, just as you did. And when things didn’t go your way, you didn’t
want to be responsible for anything, so you had a tantrum. Unknowingly,
you started to blame your ego for not bringing you what you wanted. You
had stopped being a good boss. You had inadvertently given the keys to
your kingdom over to the ego to bring everything to you.
you were feeling entitled to have everything you wanted just the way
you wanted it, or maybe you were afraid of getting shamed and
criticized, so you didn’t want to be visible and risk that. As you hid,
the ego was forced to step in and be your boss, your avatar, your
self’s representative, your face to the world. It became your fašade
that you hoped would hide your weaknesses, your incompetence, or your
shame. It would keep you from being rejected, shamed, humiliated,
embarrassed, and excommunicated from your peers. You thought no one
would see you or attack you once this fašade was solidly in place.
all of this was way more than your ego had signed on for. It still
followed your beliefs, feelings, and choices to get you stuff, but now
you had stuffed a lot of emotion and beliefs down deep and out of sight
that held a distorted view of yourself and of life. You held the
painful beliefs that you were unworthy and that the world was a scary
place that would hurt you. You expected your ego now to do the growing
and build a better, positive reality for you. However, your ego is
incapable of growing. That’s not its job. It’s just the “go-fer.” So
your ego brought you realities congruent with your limitations and
pain. Then you hated yourself more and were angry at others who were
doing better than you or criticized you.
Your ego got mad over
all this overwork. You would too, if you were forced to do everything
for someone else who was lazy, indolent, and kept blaming you and
shaming you. So your ego began to plot revenge in order to punish you,
turning negative and malicious. When you wanted something, your ego
would bring you something else. Any disappointment and suffering you
did was fine with your ego. In fact, your ego found this anger and rage
tasty, and thrived on it. It was negative passion, and so your negative
ego ate it up, and encouraged you to be angrier and produce more juice
for it to feed upon.
Unaware of this development, you naively
began to think that the ego was your only friend in a cold, cruel or
scary world of other teens. So you expected your ego to show the world
a strong, invincible, cool, savvy, smart, powerful, or rich person’s
image. That way, you figured, you’d get some love and belonging. You
wanted to be heard and taken seriously. You wanted to be loved.
facade, you figured, would protect you. Well, that’s what the ego told
you as it encouraged you to hide. If others saw the “real” (insecure)
you, they would laugh at you and hurt you. The ego would rationalize
everything in order to make you feel okay with yourself. But whatever
the ego told you in your mind talk, it was making stuff up, either to
get you to depend on it so you’d believe it and befriend it, or to
punish you and hurt you and embarrass you.
So your filter of
perception of the world got twisted. One day, your ego would tell you
that you were slime and that all those other people were judging you.
On another day (or hour), it would tell you that everyone else was
wrong and screwy and you were the Great One. The ego would explain your
invisibility, the lack of applause for you, and the missed
opportunities that went to other people by telling you that you were
better than they. Maybe you were just too high a vibration and others
just couldn’t see that. That’s the “spiritual” ego. And this
“spiritual” better-than kept you from loving your life or being able to
do your Personal and Global Missions.
This went on for so
long, that you accepted this situation as normal. Your ego became your
cell wall, owning it and maintaining it to your disadvantage. While an
ego is necessary, it should be a positive ego, just as you should be
clearly self-loving and self-valuing to set the context and foundation
for manifesting a wonderful life.
In summary, you and your ego
fabricated a great fašade so that you would appear valuable, loveable,
and worthy of belonging. So you hid behind the cool outer fašade, which
was now the cell wall of your life owned and maintained by your ego.
This malicious, undermining part of you had turned negative, and it,
not you, was in control.
The Negative Ego
forward to today. Everybody knows what a big negative ego looks and
sounds like – bragging, puffed up, and acting better than and righter
than everyone else. But that’s just one side of the ego. It can
sneakily pretend to be very humble and obsequious, bragging on how it’s
the lamest, most terrible, or most screwed up. The ego will do whatever
it needs to, to get peoples’ attention. Whatever makes the ego stand
out as unique, owning his or her own niche in which he or she is the
best at it, even if it’s the worst. Make sure you can identify the ego
in both of these extremes.
Now the ego can be a terrible
saboteur, because you have been with it so long that it’s hard to
separate out the ego from who you really are. The ego was “installed”
in its adolescent program to protect the adolescent from the trauma of
rejection by peers. But the negative ego in all of us took over. It
became the filter through which we viewed the world and formed our
opinions and beliefs about things. When you are in your negative ego,
you will take everything very personally. Whatever anyone else says,
you will look closely at it to determine what they think about you!
to heal the ego, you must dismantle it, diminish it, and return it to
its original purpose – to bring you your manifestations as per your
will. But to do this is more complex than the firing technique of the
Internal Parent. You must stop it, love it, understand it, and shrink
it down to size (let’s say about an inch high, in meditation). Take
back your position as the master. You are the boss now.
then, here is the more complicated part. You must redo the contexts so
that the ego, the positive one now, in its “go-fer” position, will
follow through on the true you, the greater you, the loving you rather
than the insecure, angry, worrywart, and jealous you. And how do you do
that? First, you must own your own value with no comparisons with
others. You must know that you are intrinsically worthy, no matter what
others may say or imply. Then you must take your power back from your
ego. It’s YOUR power, not the ego’s.
Second, you must learn to
choose positive beliefs, emotions, and thoughts instead of falling for
the paranoia, fear, and anger the negative ego feeds you. And this
positive stuff isn’t just affirmations or attempts to override the dark
despair lurking deep down in your emotional and spiritual wounds. You
must become authentic, letting go of the fašade and becoming more real.
And especially, learning to value and love yourself, forgive yourself,
and re-embrace your authentic you. You can do this with the work you do
with your Inner Child and Inner Adolescent.
In short, healing
your Negative Ego is in essence, a major spiritual journey. In the
East, they suggest to get rid of the ego, of that boundary of
separation between you and the Divine. What they are referring to is
the Negative Ego, since your consciousness and capacity to do your
Missions in the physical world absolutely rely upon a strong and
Positive Ego. They want you to have an experience of transcending ego
and experience the Divine Oneness. Indeed, you have to go beyond
the illusion of separation in order to do this, so you do need to be on
top of your negative ego and let it go free when you embrace the
Once the ego is under your control, and is loved,
forgiven (after all YOU chose to load it up with work it could not do),
and no longer shamed, it can then return to doing what it is supposed
to. This is where you get to experience the gifts that your Positive
Ego provides. You will see that you can get into the Divine Flow in
your daily life more easily, your life becomes magical, and you can
feel the amazing safety and love your world, your reality can bring you!
The Young Adult
is a you that is older, starting around 18 years of age through your
first Saturn Return, that is around 29 or 30. Unfortunately, many
people identify with the Young Adult indefinitely. I’ve found people in
their 70’s who are still Young Adults emotionally. Now, I’m all for
youthfulness, and the Young Adult period is exciting. But if you remain
in Young Adult mode, you will live your life in a fantasy that will not
pan out well for you.
This period is marked by exploring what it
means to take on adulthood in your culture. Your identity is no longer
determined by your family or school, or even local community, but
simply to you. Who you are or who you can be is up to you as a young
adult. This is exciting and adventurous!
You are still ignorant
of how the world works, but you have a great imagination at this time
in your life and also you are very opinionated. Hey, if you were
President of the United States, you would quickly say that you could do
a better job than the jerk who’s in office there now! You are full of
yourself, thinking you know everything. That’s not only ego, although
the Young Adult can have plenty of that, since the ego has been forming
successfully for years before moving on into adulthood. Being a
know-it-all is just typical of the Young Adult.
Young Adult years, you decide your Life Dream and the Life Track (your
mundane life path) that will take you there. Often, this is about
finding a mate and starting a family, or becoming a multi-millionaire
so that you never have to work for anyone else and you can do whatever
you want to do. Big dreams are common for the Young Adult, and Young
Adults are really great at dreaming up huge fantasies, and in business,
putting together Big Deals.
When you are young and don’t
really know how the world works, you think that if you have the mate
and the money for a luxurious lifestyle, you will be happy. Note that
this happiness is dependent on external circumstances, not your inner
state of mind. Society has shown you that this is the time to succeed
and look at other young people who are excelling. There is a strong
competitive spirit when you are a young adult. Fortunately, you simply
figure that life will straighten itself out and eventually you’ll have
And since you don’t know enough to see that you
have set your life standards to unattainable levels, you hope that your
Dreams will open up to you just around the corner. After all, up to
this point in life, everything came to you to experience. You don’t
know as a Young Adult that YOU have to create stuff now, or the
same-old adolescent stuff will show up over and over. Even if you have
no discipline, you can still feel that somehow you will break through
the limitations, like the Olympic champions who showed you that anyone
can do it with enough hard work and dedication. Except you will be able
to do it without all that work. You hope it will be easy for you.
Young Adult period is marked by a push-pull. On one hand, there’s the
“work hard and earn more” philosophy of the Calvinist work ethic. You
assume that if you work hard enough and smart enough, you too can get
rich. On the other hand, you don’t want to do so much work. It’s got to
be fun and easy. So you “Think and Grow Rich” (the title of a popular
book by Napoleon Hill) and you think that magical thinking will work
easily for you to get what you want. But you soon learn that getting
there isn’t so easy. As a student or entrant into the labor market, you
start at the bottom and scrape by – unless of course your daddy is
rich, rich, rich, or you are given time to do nothing because you’re
still living at home and your parents are footing all your bills.
most of you have to make a bunch of decisions about money. Generally,
you choose money for survival now, and I’ll get my dreams later. You
keep asking yourself; “How do you make a huge amount of money in a
short time?” This is the question on so many Young Adult minds. And of
course there’s “How do I meet the man (or woman) of my dreams?”
key is that Young Adults just don’t want to do all that work. After
adolescence with its relative freedom (unless you had a Tiger Mom!),
you are not happy spending your whole life working for someone else who
may or may not be nice to you. But the epitome of success in the
mainstream is the workaholic. And wages are so low, you have to work
your butt off. You work and work, and eventually this is your life. You
get time for you on your days off, but sometimes you’re just too tired,
so you end up sleeping. Or you do obligations, or going on errands.
Sometimes, you have enough energy for partying. The Dreams get put on a
Some Young Adults are successful right off the bat,
and make good money, or find that fabulous mate. But they too, after a
while, will wonder what happened to the real Dream. What’s next?
They’ve reached the top of the work ladder, but where do they go from
here? Even the Young Adult is successful, they will feel confident that
they can now go do whatever they want and make money at it. But they
can get hit with frustration.
Whether the Young Adult is poor
or rich, or on the way up the social ladder, disillusionment can set
in. Are they doing enough? Achieving enough? Have they tried hard
enough? Are they productive enough? Is there enough love, money, and
success for them? Are they smart enough? Happy enough? Talented enough?
Know enough of the right people? The critical concern for Young Adults,
whether or not they consciously understand what it is, is that they
don’t know if, on their own as themselves, they ARE “enough.”
summarize, the dark downside to the Young Adult is that they think they
know everything even if they are new to engaging with the world “out
there.” And secondly, they don’t know what is enough or if they are
enough. It seems the demands on them keep expanding, the more they try
to fulfill them all. They are forced to motivate themselves by money or
guilt trip themselves to do their obligations.
Instead of the
Great Dreams, they settle for more modest Dreams. The Grandeur they
imagined in their lives has faced into the distance and they no longer
see any track to get there. Life has become limited to duties and
obligations, and to the acquisition of those things (toys,
circumstances, people) they think will make them happy. Inside
themselves, they can feel empty (after all, they are not enough) and
they live “on hold,” waiting for their lives and their Dreams to open
up and fulfill them.
What you want to do to heal the Young Adult
is essentially the same thing you do for the adolescent. In meditation,
give the Young Adult everything he or she wants, and especially, a
money machine. Every time he or she presses a button, a high
denomination bill comes out. This machine never runs out, so the Young
Adult can simply hold his or her finger on the button, and out come
flying big money, piling up.
You can also give the Young Adult a
perfect mate. It may be based on a boyfriend or girlfriend you had as a
Young Adult, but of course, upgraded to perfection. Then give your
Young Adult self all the Big Dreams possible, with the fabulous
accompanying lifestyle, adventures, and even world recognition.
Whatever you wanted then, you give to your Young Adult. Your Young
Adult does not have to be responsible or a serious adult. Let your
Young Adult play and fully express him or herself!
inner Young Adult is satisfied, then you can begin to breathe easier.
You can then tap into the gifts of the Young Adult; an amazing
imagination and creativity, the capacity to Dream and Envision the
Future, and the dynamic motivation to do something worthy for yourself,
for your joy, for your life and the world.
Don’t let yourself
identify with the Young Adult. You can’t stay here. Your inner Young
Adult won’t get you where you want to go, although its gifts will help
you get started. For your follow through, you’ll need to make sure that
the Young Adult’s partner is taken care of (The Slave Driver, next),
and that your Dreams are true to who you are becoming, rather than
being the resurrected dreams of your past.
Everyone loves the
imagination, the fantasies of the Young Adult, but you cannot live in
them or you’ll sadly get lost in one-dimensional fantasy and escapism,
accomplishing nothing. You want to temper those youthful energies with
wisdom, and motivate yourself from your Spirit and Soul power. Wisdom
will come to you, a gift of the True Adult, the Magical Adult. I’ll
discuss this self in a later article.
The Inner Slave Driver
have worked with and loved my adolescent self, my young adult self, my
ego self, and my internal parental authority self (my conscience, my
self-nurturer or punisher). But there is one more of the Big Six to
heal, and it’s a doozy! This next sub-personality is not really you,
but it acts like it owns the whole show – your inner Slave Driver!
first three are relatively easy to identify, the ego is quite a bit
trickier, and the Young Adult is pretty much unknown as its distinct
personality. But it’s the Slave Driver that keeps you from becoming
yourself, even when you work with the other five. So I’m giving the
Slave Driver more space in this article because it’s so sneaky, harder
to pinpoint, and people fall for it hook, line, and sinker!
Slave Driver came into being to help you handle your motivation when
you were a Young Adult. While you are free to move into society
and dream big about where you want to go in life, you are also
experimenting, exploring, and discovering what life is about as an
adult. Since everything fell into your lap as a child and a teen, you
assume that life will just keep giving you stuff that you must learn
about. But as I said before, your twenties are about finding what YOU
want and going after it proactively, not waiting for stuff to show up.
is a basic human need, so you look into surviving on your lower wage
job or pinching pennies to make ends meet. While you are able to dream
great possibilities, you may not see these in your day to day life.
Soon, you get stuck trying to earn money. You take on
obligations. It seems that first, you must build up financial
resources. There’s so much to do before you can get to the juicy
Dreams. Thus your motivation is forced to focus on money and other
While these shorter term goals of money and
relationship are important, they are what you feel you must choose
because everyone in the culture sees those goals are good, useful, and
vital. But you didn’t take the time to figure out for yourself what you
really wanted and what goals really meant a lot to your Soul and
Spirit, to who you truly are.
So you can get stuck doing stuff
you are not really motivated to do. This is true even if you still live
at home. And it’s hard to keep motivating yourself for something you
don’t really feel excited about that you have to do first before you
can do what you really want to do. You know that when you do something
you really want to do and you are enthusiastic, passionate, and
excited, you are filled with energy! But if you have to do something
that you deem as drudgery, your energy has to be forced, your body has
to be coerced. Where does your energy go?
In order for you to do
what you have to so that you can continue along the track to your
Dreams (or the track that will take you to where you need to be to
discover your Dreams), you have installed an artificial motivator
within you that I call the Inner Slave Driver. This motivator identity
is a higher and more sophisticated octave above your Internal Parent.
The Slave Driver is the authoritative voice of the Collective, of the
myths, and the duties and obligations you must have if you are to be
considered a good person and deserving of your Dreams.
Guilt, Fear, and Anger; the Push-Drive Method of the Slave Driver
does the Slave Driver get you moving? By talking to you in your head
about how guilty you’ll feel if you don’t push and drive yourself to
succeed. You’ll let others down. You’ll let yourself down. You’ll be a
loser. You won’t be seen as a good kind person if you don’t sacrifice
yourself for others (and you’ll feel Shame!). It goes on and on like
But sometimes guilt isn’t the key to getting you to do
your duty or what you think you must do. Instead, the Slave Driver will
use fear. If you don’t do this unpleasant thing you don’t want to do,
then bad things will happen. You must work hard, or you’ll be homeless
and on the street and people will spit at you. You’ll be at the mercy
of other people, and on and on. You have your own terrible tale of
potential woe – whatever you are afraid of the most will happen if you
don’t apply yourself now.
Guilt is normally a twisted form of
anger, so sometimes anger is also used as a motivator. Get really angry
at someone who’s criticizing you and this may motivate you to attack
that person verbally or take some kind of revenge on the person.
Normally, most people have some self-restraint and don’t go shoot other
people in rage, although a few do. But even being angry for a while
without releasing it safely and kindly within yourself can add fuel to
any fire that comes along inside you. The ego feeds on anger buildup
and will fan the flames, but it’s the Slave Driver that will insist
that you absolutely MUST do something and push you to do it - now!
if you didn’t have to do anything at all, i.e. if you had total
permission to do only that which you want to do, the adolescent you
might take over, hanging out reading, socializing, sleeping,
travelling, having sex, and buying lots of stuff. So when you get down
to figuring out if you really want to follow through on that
commitment, you may find that escapism and lounging around doing
nothing is very appealing.
But your Slave Driver will come in
and remind you that you are just being a lazy, good for nothing jerk.
You MUST follow through on your commitments, duties, and obligations.
Others are counting on you. Your whole country is counting on you doing
the right thing. If you don’t make your family and your spouse happy,
and support them at all times, then you will be rejected, abandoned,
and ignored, and that hurts.
So, ridden with potential shame
and “losership,” you mobilize your body and go for it. That is, until
your pent up anger and rage reaches its tipping point, and then you
tell the boss, “take this job and shove it!” Or you break up with your
mate so you don’t have to share meager resources with another person –
or whatever successful rationalization supports your decision to get
out of your commitments.
Here the negative ego and the Slave
Driver work together to sabotage you. You see, it’s totally fine to
re-negotiate your commitments with whomever you made the commitment
with. And there is no judgement about staying or leaving. But you can
sabotage yourself when your inner mind talk is filled with the crapola
from your Internal Parent (do your homework first, then you can play
and watch TV), negative ego (these other people are taking advantage of
your good nature and manipulating you and winning over you – it’s all
about you) and your Slave Driver (you have great Dreams you must get to
work on now, you’ve been slacking! Get back on track!).
a choice as a young adult to do whatever it took to get to that dream
of success. Do you actually remember it? Most people don’t. It just
seemed to come naturally. And to insure that you got there, you
installed the Slave Driver to continue to push and drive you in the
When you get older and your Dreams are still
not completely met, the Slave Driver gets tougher, like a drill
sergeant. You feel you haven’t worked hard enough, focused on your
goals good enough. If you could just get this last thing done and push
through to success, then all would be okay.
This pressure and
push continues to your death unless you take charge of your life. You
will never feel okay with taking a few days off just for you unless
you’ve just accomplished some huge goal. If you haven’t reached those
goals yet, you can’t take off. No rest for the weary. Keep going, don’t
stop! On and on you go, because as soon as you consider doing nothing
or relaxing and drifting on the couch, you start to get anxious.
Relaxing doesn’t seem okay. There’s so many obligations to do. And the
guilt, fear, and the angst over the unfilled dreams gets you back up
doing something you absolutely must do for necessity’s sake.
you actually take time off, you will probably get a manifestation from
the Slave Driver. Someone will call, message, or text you with an
urgent request or need, personally, politically, or for some other
urgency. Or there will be a problem at work and you have to give up
your day off to go in there and fix the issue. Or (and this is the most
common one) a family member or very close friend will want you to
listen to them and pay attention to them.
If you’re not careful,
your down time disappears as you’re doing more and more. You’re picking
up the pace, hurrying more, going faster, and working harder and
harder. You’re going for it—going for the dream! But eventually, it
dawns on you that you’re not catching up. You’re not bringing it all in
yet. You are even more behind than before! Maybe you’ve been too slow.
How are you going to go faster, or do it better? You don’t have enough
hours in the day!
And as if that’s not enough, there’s even
more. When you get onto your Spiritual Path, your Slave Driver will
simply expand its demands into to your spiritual life. You can say,
“I’m going to manifest great realities. I’m going to do my programming.
I’m going to meditate and achieve high spiritual states. I’m going to
do my Law of Attraction stuff. I’m going to make this happen. It’s not
too late! I can still be on track. I can still get everything that I
have wanted, and I can still be spiritual.”
Now, all of your
achievement and being enough, doing enough fast enough, catching up,
getting ahead, gets oriented to your spiritual path as well as your
mundane one. The Slave Driver pressures you to meditate more. Do more
yoga! Eat right! Exercise more! Love more! Never get angry! Stop
controlling! You aren’t giving enough, loving enough, and you aren’t
changing the world enough. C’mon, you got to work harder!
years of chasing the golden carrot, you don’t see that the Slave Driver
has stolen your natural motivation and substituted a false motivation
in you. You don’t see how it’s stolen your energy, your imagination,
your possibilities and your potential. You may be in your 50’s or even 70’s and your Slave Driver is still pressuring you to fulfill the Dreams of your Young Adult!
if you have chosen new Dreams, your Slave Driver doesn’t know that. It
just puts the pressure on you to fulfill your new Dreams as well as
your Young Adult dreams. It can be overwhelming to your psyche.
conscious mind doesn’t know what to do with this, but your Inner Child
offers an answer; passive resistance. Your adolescent offers you
escapism and self-indulgence. And your food offers you a substitute for
your motivation; coffee!
You’re tired of doing your “to-do” list
that just seems to get longer and longer year by year. You want to kick
back and relax, but you feel too guilty to do much of that. So maybe
you get tired and sick with chronic fatigue. Now you have an excuse not
to do those obligations and carry those burdens. Or you get another
chronic ailment that functions like the excuse your mother used to give
the school when you had to stay home in bed.
I’m not blaming anyone who suffers from chronic fatigue or other
debilitating illnesses. What I’ve found in my practice over the years
is that stuffed anger and shame, and too much inner and outer conflict
can create terrible stress for the body. I myself spent years in
chronic fatigue resisting everything until I released my shame and rage
and let go of my negative ambition. i.e. the Slave Driver. So I know
that even if you are allergic to almost everything, emotional healing
can generally take care of most if not all of that. Contact me if you
want more detail on that.
So maybe you try out the avenue of
escapism. You smoke too much pot, you watch too much TV, you have an
affair, you read too many trashy novels, you gamble, you put money on
crazy Ponzi schemes, and on and on. You get impatient, unwilling to put
your time and attention into anything that takes discipline or goes on
too long. You overreact to other peoples’ requests of your time. You
can even pull away from your friends and family.
Maybe you tried
giving up to ease the pressure. Hey, you failed, you’re a loser. The
best thing you can do now is settle for a smaller life, for lesser
goals that may be more manageable. But that will not take the
insane internal pressure off you. And furthermore, this choice does not
come from your true motivation either. As long as you are in
resistance to the Slave Driver or give in to the Slave Driver and
compromise yourself, you get small and give away your true motivation.
here’s the way most people handle having to do tasks they don’t want to
do, or tasks that are routine, or even tasks that are interesting but
simply have to be done. Drink coffee (the highly caffeinated kind, not
the de-caffinated), take uppers, and eat a lot of chocolate. Crank up
your nervous system so you can move at a faster pace. Suddenly, all
those tasks seem doable because you have created artificial energy.
Energy is what normally keys your body to let it know that you are
highly motivated and “let’s do this thing!” So it’s a fake motivation.
talked with many people who claim they have no problem, no guilt, no
fear, nothing. They’re motivated, gung ho, and fine with working so
hard. No problem! But they are usually hooked onto coffee. What would
happen to our economy if there was no coffee? If you need your coffee
or strong tea to get going in the morning, but you want to let go of
your Slave Driver, you have to avoid stimulants. Then the Slave Driver
will appear and motivate you by guilt and fear alone.
if you were in total alignment with your Divine Self, you would
continually update your preferences, your desires, and your dreams. And
much of those desires would be for intangible things, like love,
freedom, beauty, empowered choices, flexibility, and creativity, not
the tangible rewards of money and possessions. These, the Slave Driver
doesn’t push you on. But nobody told you how to do this. Maybe you were
brilliant and figured it out on your own.
it’s too easy for most people to stay in the momentum of fulfilling
duty and obligations, and of reacting to necessity rather than looking
at and going for preferences.
Steps to Firing the Inner Slave Driver and Resetting Your Motivation
in order to create the Future you want to have, from THIS place and
time, you will have to stop motivating yourself from a not-true place
for you. You will have to discover, after all this time achieving or
trying to achieve your total fulfillment, what you truly wish to do,
and how to give yourself the grace to find that. You start by
identifying the Slave Driver’s voice in your head and the Slave Driver
motivational promptings in your emotions.
Yes, you fell for the
Slave Driver’s tricks. Don’t kick and shame yourself. Forgive
yourself. There’s nothing really missing in your life. Only the Slave
Driver will try to convince you that you have to get that missing piece
or whatever it is that’s going to make you whole and then you’ll be
successful in the world. Can you see that? And only your Negative Ego
will exhort you to gain success so that you’ll be able to show the rest
of the world how to be spiritual and materially successful at the same
time. Do you really and truly need to be the Grand Teacher for the
Even when you achieve something great, a part of your
Dream, the Slave Driver remains relentlessly pushing you, because you
still haven’t done enough. The Slave Driver is your ever-present Drill
Sergeant. The Slave Driver never stops. It never retires on its own
because it is responsible for forcing you to achieve enough. And you
will never ever achieve enough. So it won’t get off your back no matter
what level of accomplishment you have or however many dollars you
If you’re an older person, notice how the Slave Driver
has continued. It fills you with fear, because the clock is ticking
away! You have less and less time to achieve all these dreams before
you get decrepit and pathetic. And you’re always behind. If you’re
spiritual, the Slave Driver suggests that you might die before you
complete your Mission! This last one got to me big time!
FEEL the negative energy of what I just shared? Can you FEEL the
tightness in your solar plexus/stomach area? Can you feel how small and
powerless you’ve let the Slave Driver make you? You created the Slave
Driver, and now it’s time to un-create it and get back in touch with
your true motivation.
So to free yourself from the Slave Driver,
you must take back your power from it, fire it, and start living a life
free of all that stress and pressure. The main energetic reason that so
many older adults develop high blood pressure is because of the
pressure put them internally and continuously by the inner Slave Driver!
you feel guilty or fearful, you will lose your power to the Slave
Driver. So you have to make a choice. Do you want to continue all this
insane self-driving with guilt, fear of shame, anger, or fear? Or do
you want to live your life true to you? Can you love yourself enough to
take time off and nurture yourself when you are NOT sick?
thing is that in that quiet time of rest, you can tune into who you are
and you allow the Divine to come into your life. You allow magic to
come in. You allow freedom, love, and joy. You can receive good things
in your life. You can have ease and effortless elegance. Life can just
unfold in beautiful, beautiful ways. If you allow yourself to be
without the guilt, the fear, the judgment of yourself, there will be no
Slave Driver saying that you’re not doing it okay or that you’re
behind. Imagine that!
I know that sounds all great. But in
choosing to ditch the Slave Driver, know this. When you fire your Slave
Driver, there’s going to be a tremendous disorientation in your life.
It’ll be huge! This disorientation goes deep and completely through
you. You will feel that your identity is lost. And your success track,
the linear progression you are on towards your goals, will vanish.
will enter the “Void,” a space of emptiness that can be scary. You’ve
followed the Slave Driver for many years to avoid this space, but it is
the very space from which you can build a new life. It’s a womb of the
Divine, of your Divine nature. You may feel you are wandering around at
first and this can be very uncomfortable. You’ll want to know what to
do, but Doing is not the way here. Being is.
will feel that your Dreams are gone, or at least removed to farther
away. You will have a tendency to worry about survival. What if you
don’t have enough motivation to continue your work and make your money?
Or support your child or aging parent who needs you? Everything seems
to come into question.
You need to have courage to fire your Slave Driver!
there are major benefits to firing the Slave Driver. When you fire the
Slave Driver with your conscious awareness, with choice, you become
free of so much stress! You can allow yourself to be, even to not
achieve a thing. You see, your Personal Spiritual Mission is not about
doing stuff and achieving in the world. It’s about being true to you,
knowing who you are, and loving and valuing yourself because you ARE,
not valuing yourself only because you achieved anything. It’s about
knowing the Divinity within you.
Your Destiny (and the Destiny
of all Souls) is to have fun being yourself, creating your most
wonderful life possible. That may not require big money at all, but a
lifestyle that honors you and your interests and those you love. So
once the Slave Driver is gone, you’ll have the freedom to discover what
it is you really truly wish to be, to do, and to experience.
before the firing, let’s look at a few secrets of the Slave Driver. The
more you know, the more capable you will be to free yourself from its
grip when it shows up in your psyche, and the more easily you will be
able to shift into your beautiful New Life!
Getting into the Slave Driver’s Nitty Gritty
Slave Driver is a specific installation to your motivational program.
Your creativity and motivation comes from your second chakra and, as
you probably know already, the second chakra is the sexual chakra. It
has to do with creativity. It has also to do with your self-image as a
man or woman. Throughout the world sexuality, self-image, and
creativity (the second chakra), are probably the most abused and
damaged aspects of you.
And what others think of you can stash
in the second chakra and debilitate your self-esteem, reducing your
self-image down to a pile of garbage. When you are shamed, when you
feel like a failure, when you’re criticized, judged, humiliated,
ridiculed, and embarrassed, it all goes to second chakra. It hides
there. And you can get unknowingly stuck in the mess.
twisted and distorted and wounded second chakra, the Slave Driver comes
in to whip that second chakra into shape for achievement. Then you feel
that if only you could be successful at something, then you can redeem
yourself for all your weaknesses or failures (and of course, the
biggie, shame). You can reverse the shame somehow if only you could
sustain your motivation well enough. As soon as you get to this
position, the Slave Driver has seduced you into being its slave.
doesn’t end the Slave Driver, so don’t count on that! If and when you
retire, the Slave Driver will push you all the harder. It’s well known
that men who retire and don’t feel that they are important or matter
anymore are at a very high risk of dying in the first two years of
retirement. They no longer are capable of great achievement, of
becoming the movers and shakers they wanted to be. Without the Slave
Driver, there is nothing there. They feel that they’ve failed.
with failure comes the punishment for failure – insignificance and
shame. Life can become too empty and meaningless (remember, the Slave
Driver gives meaning and validity to struggling and working hard). If
these men (and some women) don’t find something exciting to do, and
reset their motivation and thus their self-value, these men lose their
whole sense of self. This is a direct result of keeping the Slave
Driver on its Drill Sergeant-like task.
Women can suffer from
this too, especially if there is no one around to take care of any
longer, the children are gone, and she has nothing to replace all that
service with. What will she do? Being alone actually works more easily
for many women than men, but it also can explain why there are a lot of
single older women with cats!
Identify the Inner Slave Driver in your Mind Talk
fire the Inner Slave Driver, you must first be able to identify it in
your mind talk. Everything I’ve said above this paragraph in this
section of the article is intended for you to get the basic energetic
or vibration of the Slave Driver – that push, that motivation by
anxiety, guilt, and fear.
So make a note to yourself to “red
flag” the next time you have the opportunity to do nothing and just
relax – even if it’s just for a couple of hours. If you don’t continue
to do your tasks, but just pause, what do you feel? What are you going
to do during this time period?
Listen to your mind and your
feelings. Do you think you have to do something productive? Is there
something you haven’t done that you should do right now? The way I felt
it was as if there were people out there waiting for me to do something
for them, but I simply couldn’t remember who they were and what they
were needing. That feeling. When I got to an empty space in my
schedule, I would start to figure out what was the most important and
necessary thing to do. I didn’t value doing nothing. So if I didn’t
know right away what I wanted to do, I would start to feel a bit
anxious. Will I make the best choice for this time slot? Is it okay to
You’ll have your own version of this, but the key
here is to FEEL how this mind talk is affecting you emotionally. Sense
your stomach/solar plexus area. Is it tense? Tight? Slightly
nauseous? Suddenly very hungry? (Eating always pushes the
uncomfortable emotions registering in the stomach down to lower,
Feel the guilt. Bad you. You are not being
the good person you should be and be doing something socially
productive. If guilt is part of your formula, feel it as deeply as you
can for half a minute. Focus on guilt. Don’t go into self pity or let
your mind rationalize stuff. Stay with the feeling and think as little
as possible. Stay with guilt until it simply dissolves. It will, if you
focus fully on it. There is a quiet that follows, but shift your
attention now to fear.
Focus on your fear. What are you afraid
will happen if you are not productive? What could happen if you don’t
get that thing done that your friend, family member, or co-worker is
waiting on you to do. Will others be upset with you? Criticize you?
What if you don’t work so hard? Will your boss fire you? Or will
someone else usurp your position? If you don’t keep at your work, will
you fail to meet the mortgage payment? Get sued? I would also get this
bizarre fear that if I don’t apply myself, that something terrible
would happen, and then I would feel that my lackfulness was to blame
for whatever it would be. No real connection between the fear and the
result, but my mind talk made this connection anyway.
the fear. Focus on it. Keep your attention on it for half a minute at
least. See scary scenarios if you need to keep it fresh and intense.
Don’t let yourself go into self-pity, excuses, or make rationales. No
thinking, just feeling. Face your fear. In a little while, it too will
If anger is a big motivator for you, then feel that
and focus on that the same way as the others. But most often, just
feeling guilt and fear thoroughly will put you into a very quiet, empty
space. Before your mind chatter reasserts itself, feel the emptiness.
This is the Void, the Womb of your New Life. Out of this void emerges
creative, imaginative ideas. But before you look for or listen
for your creativity, just be with this space.
When I did this
the first time, it was actually scary to experience the void. At first,
I wanted to run away, anxious and unsettled, squirmy and suddenly very
uncomfortable. But I stayed and felt it. Then a magical thing happened.
I felt lifted into a very light and free place, a very exciting and
joyous inner space filled with possibilities and potentials.
could be your experience too, or something like it. Now plan to do this
technique again whenever you are trying to motivate yourself to do
something you don’t want to do. If you do this a few times, you will
start moving into a new kind of gentle and happy inner reality. And
remember. The inner reality happens before the outer reality responds
and shows up differently. There’s a time gap between the inner and the
outer that’s part of living in 3D under time and space (4D).
actively imagine your version of your Inner Slave Driver. Personify it.
Mine was a patriarchal guy in a suit. This fit me well, because I
recognized that the Calvinist work ethic Slave Driver was definitely a
part of the Masculine Hierarchy of Value and Power (formulated from the
military and adopted by corporations everywhere).
But maybe your
Slave Driver looks like a pirate, or even your mother or father. Often,
one of your parents acted like a Slave Driver to you and drove you, so
this might be appropriate for you. Whatever you come up with, it will
work. There is no right or wrong personification. You just want this
image to hold a sense of meaning to it, that this image represents all
that negative, pressure-filled, guilt-ridden, and fear-mongering
motivation you’ve had to endure for years.
Now remember. YOU
gave your power away to your Slave Driver, just like you did to your
Negative Ego. So take it back. Say “power, return to me!” Go grab it
from the Slave Driver and pull to yourself something that symbolizes
your power. It can have what looks like strength, even beauty. It could
be a big crystal or rock. It could be a piece of paper that a contract
is written upon. However you see it, take back this symbol of your
power and imagine and feel that you now have the power back in you!
tall. Like Donald Trump in his show “The Apprentice,” you may want to
say “you’re fired!” Or, “this is it. Your services are no longer
needed.” I suggest that you thank your Slave Driver because it did what
you wanted it to do, and did it well. And then, give your Slave Driver
a much-needed retirement. I sent mine to a private Caribbean Island in
a big mansion with servants and a luxurious relaxing lifestyle. Send
yours somewhere that is an ideal retirement place. Don’t punish your
Slave Driver. As I said, it was doing the job you assigned it.
may need to fire the Slave Driver multiple times and send it packing to
its retirement place. Don’t see the need to do this as a failure in any
way. You will have to shift your motivational self now, and that’s a
big task. If you fall back into old motivational patterns, your Slave
Driver will show up, “you called?”
Resetting Your Motivation
need this disorientation period that starts now, so that you can find
who you are. You need to reorient yourself and begin again. From the
person that you are now, you can re-dream. I would suggest that you
look at all your Adolescent and Young Adult fantasies and dreams, even
if some of them appear to still have meaning and purpose for you. Look
at Child Dreams too – the ones for the perfect family and living
situation. You may still be motivating yourself from your inner
parents, or as a rebel. To find your true motivation, you need to step
into your true Adult self. You need to release the motivations you had
back in your youth. Let them go. Mourn your dreams. Let them die. The
vibration of them do not reflect who you are now. (Note;
Some dreams will actually be current and useful still, even those that
started years ago. So in order to determine which dreams you wish to
keep, I suggest doing this motivational rese first. You’ll see that the
more current form of the dreams will be much more meaningful after the
Let yourself be
dreamless for a short while. Give yourself a few days off, and I mean
REALLY off. If you can’t do that, then take at least one day. Everyone
should be able to manage one day. During this day or ideally three days
in a row, pay attention to your motivation. Don’t get up until your
body gets up. If you lie there awake, at some point, your body will get
up, almost as if the body and your mind are not communicating! This is
your body’s motivation working for you. I always find this amazing.
if you have to get up only to pee, then get up and go pee and then get
back in bed. Don’t get up if you are thinking of all the duties and
productive activities you need to so in the day. Notice how you are
motivating yourself, how you are forcing yourself, how your are
bullying yourself to do those things.
If your body doesn’t get
you up, stay in bed and remember; don’t think of what you have to do
during the day. Hopefully, you’ve pre-prepared your meals or run all
the errands you needed to do yesterday, so you can get up whenever you
Start thinking about stuff you have wanted to do in
the past, or those things that you have told yourself, “someday, I’ll
have the time to do this.” Do you still find them alluring, calling
you? Let your mind drift until it finds something you actually want to
do now. As soon as you think of something you REALLY want to do, your
body will energize. You’ll suddenly feel infused with energy to get up
and do it. This is your truer motivation! That’s when your body will
simply roll over and get up with no urging from you.
first thing you need to do after perhaps a trip to the bathroom and
dressing yourself, is to do that thing that motivated you to get up.
Don’t get distracted by your cell phone or computer or TV or some
routine you always have to do. Go for the motivation. Prioritize it! If
you don’t, if your mind says “do this other task first,” then the Slave
Driver is back on your case. You will feel a strong pull to do what
your Slave Driver has set out for you. But please, resist!
your day, your motivation may seem absent. But your body has some
motivation for you. It’ll tell you that it wants to pee, eat, take a
walk, lie down, draw, dance, stretch, or anything else. Don’t object or
dominate your body with your mind. Let go and follow your body. (Now
this doesn’t apply to pigging out on junk food or another emotional
addiction.) Remember, you can NOT motivate yourself by guilt, fear,
necessity, or another other urgent demand on your reset day(s).
see, at first, if you start motivating just for yourself, you’re like a
baby. You haven’t motivated yourself before, or at least in a long
time. You’ll be motivated for five minutes and then you will lose your
motivation. If you are drawing a picture, for example, the Slave Driver
will come in and say, “Five minutes is not enough to put into your
work. Don’t be lazy. You know you’re never going to get anything
done if you just do five minutes. Come on. You need to follow through,
and make the picture look good. You need to finish it. Don’t stop
in the middle.” You feel guilty. “I really should. I guess I should
really follow through. I shouldn’t be a quitter. It won’t take long.
I’ll go just a little while longer.” The Slave Driver has got you!
if a space of time comes along and you don’t have any motivation, your
mind will tell you what you should be doing, or something you chose to
do for someone else that you could do today rather than wait until
tomorrow. Or you will think to fill up this time, you’re going to go
turn on the TV and flip. Any escapist activity is resistance to the
Slave Driver, and it’s not a good thing to do. You don’t gain your own
true motivation by escaping. Anything you do for the sake of this reset
must be something you actually WANT to do and that your body feels that
little burst of energetic enthusiasm for.
So when you have
nothing at all you want to do, and your mind talk tries to get you to
fill the time period with the usual stuff, tasks, or little escapist
activities (mine was playing FreeCells on my computer), you need to
stop it all. Shut up the Slave Driver and mind talk, “Didn’t I fire
you? Go back to your retirement haven!” Then find a comfortable place
to sit and relax. Don’t lie down. You may fall asleep and that doesn’t
work for this reset. You need to do this consciously.
sit there, conscious, aware of your body, receiving input to your
senses. Don’t get involved with your pets either. Calm them but don’t
play with them yet, unless you know FOR SURE that this is not escapist
and your body is all excited and energized. Sit quietly. If you’re by a
window, look out the window. If not, just look around at your space.
This is your space, your support place, your retreat. Be grateful for
it. And then do nothing.
Clear your mind. Decrease the tension in your body. Do nothing. Nothing.
Feel the void, the emptiness. Any mind talk that comes up, just let it
go on by. Don’t be attached to the thoughts. Don’t think of what you’ll
do tomorrow or what happened yesterday. Don’t process unfinished
business with others. Stay quiet. Feel. If you start feeling anxious,
then say “no” to your Slave Driver and send it on its way. Be. Don’t
try to concentrate on a meditative activity or do visualizations. Just
At some point, and it varies for everyone, this
pseudo-meditation will begin to bring you inspiration, creativity, and
yes, motivation bubbling up from your inner depths. If it doesn’t,
don’t feel you did anything wrong. Sometimes it takes a few times
before your subconscious and unconscious minds see that you are serious
in becoming whole and accessing them. And remember to stay present.
Don’t drift off. You want to be aware of your body when or if it gets
motivated for something.
When do you get up and do something
from this non-state? When you feel some motivation, an infusion of
energy just like you do in getting up out of bed. Eventually, you’ll
feel some. It may be as simple as fixing some food. But it could also
be some stretching. Or you may have some great ideas that have come to
you and you want to scribble them down on a pad.
this all day. Your motivation of this kind is new, and you you’ll need
to nurture your baby motivation. It will say, “I would like to sit at
the computer and write an email (or I’d like to send my friend a
text.)” Okay. You’re half way through the letter when you think, “I
don’t feel like writing this email, or I don’t feel like getting
involved in a texting conversation – it’s escapist for me.”
yourself permission to stop right there. Save it. Maybe sometime later
you’ll get to it. You’re going to have to be very, very gentle on
yourself. Because if you don’t, if you think that, “Oh, just doing
this, this makes me a dabbler. This is not okay.” You’re judging
yourself. You’re inviting the Slave Driver in.
Now your true
motivation does not have a loud voice like the Slave Driver’s. It’s not
backed up by the collective/consensus reality and all that cultural
force of authority. It’s a tiny little voice, and you have to learn how
to hear it and prioritize it. Once you do, it will become louder and
more real to you. In time, you’ll recognize it also by how your stomach
area feels. Most people have discounted this small voice within
them for years or decades in order to fit in/belong, to please others,
to build a stronger ego fašade, or to make someone else feel okay.
once your reset day(s) end, the question comes up. “How do I do all
those necessities, like fixing food, buying supplies, doing errands,
paying the rent/mortgage, marketing myself, and balancing the
checkbook, which is all motivated by necessity?” When you listen to
your small inner voice, you are loving yourself, and you are showing by
putting your attention on it and responding to it that you value
yourself. When you love and value you, you can then make a conscious
empowered choice to do all the necessities with gratitude, knowing that
they support you.
In other words, you can reframe your attitude
about your necessities of life rather than fretting and being
frustrated and annoyed over having to do those things. That bad
attitude comes from entitled egos belonging to those who feel that they
never get to follow their true motivation and want to escape their
Slave Drivers. That’s your inner adolescent, not your adult self.
reset process needs to be done enough so that you can actually tell
what your motivation is about; whether you are in sync with your
positive motivation or not. And throughout this process, your
self-image will lift its resonance and you will be able to choose a
life that is right for you. You will be living YOUR life, not a life
that others and the collective have chosen for you.
with this motivational reset, I urge you to re-Dream your Future. What
are you Dreams and Visions now? Where are you going? If you let your
inner authority figures tell you what you should or could do, thank
them, but pay attention to what your heart says, what your Soul is
saying, and where your passionate motivation lies. That small voice is
a voice of your Soul, and is possibly the most important voice for you
to hear! Don’t go for the money, achievements, and fame. Go for the
love and passion of being yourself, doing that which is fun and
authentic for you to do. Remember that modern day adage? Do what you
love and the money will follow. It does!
Now I’m not telling you
that this can all be accomplished in a few days or so. You have to
learn how to stay on top of your motivational self, listening to your
inner small voice. This takes practice. And it takes awareness of your
inner mind talk and the six selves who are continually sending you
messages from their points of view.
In your day to day life,
you will get plenty of opportunities to identify those times that you
react and take action based on the Slave Driver’s push and at least
knowing that it is false to your truth. Little by little, you will
learn how to lovingly respond to your true self and enhance it. Then
your Slave Driver will come back in a new incarnation; your Positive
Ambition, your True Motivation. The small voice of your truth will
become your new motivator from Soul and Spirit!
The reason I put
so much into sharing this motivational reset with you is because, in
order to step into your greatness, into your Destiny at this powerful
opportunistic time, you cannot motivate yourself from a less authentic
you any longer. You cannot become your Greater Self unless you come
from your place of Truth. You cannot step into your New Life in the New
World until you know this Divine part of yourself.
I think that
firing my inner Slave Driver has been one of the single most important
personal development strategies I have ever taken. When I and my
husband Daniel both shifted into our true motivation, we no longer
argued and fought. Our relationship become soft, loving, and sublime.
We stopped struggling with scarcity issues. I was able to begin a
journey of healing my body, damaged by internalizing conflicts and
taking on more emotional loads (of others) than I could handle.
short, we both became happy and free. I can’t begin to tell you how
marvelous and amazing it is to be totally at peace and free within. All
I can do is suggest that you fire your Inner Slave Driver, listen to
your Six Selves and stay in your enlightened, spiritual adult self.
It’s your Destiny!
This article written by
Ginger Metraux, Ph.D.
"The Mystic Professor"
(c) 2017-2018, Ginger Metraux and Giniel, Inc., Encino, CA, USA