Home  |  About the Siriun Year  | Articles  |  Past Newsletters

Building Self-Value
Sustaining Your Higher Resonance and Ending the Negative Ego's Dominance

The Greater Self's Value

I’ve shared a lot about the Greater Self. We all have one. This Greater Self is a future you who holds a greater vibratory energy field than you do. It has more love, freedom, empowerment, and trust in your Divine Plan than you do. When you step into the higher resonance of your Greater Self, you can see through his or her eyes, and expand your perspective on life to one of greater illumination and awareness.

When you, through meditation (i.e. your intended awareness) can access your Greater Self, you can also access more of that KNOWING of who you really are and you can value yourself highly even if you aren’t achieving anything or doing anything considered socially “productive.” This is not an ego value, a “me me” value, but a richness of true value and acceptance of yourself, the divine being you are, on all levels.

When you love and value yourself just for being YOU, you are acting as the Divine. You see, God, Goddess, All That Is loves you for being you. They created you and they made no mistake. You are not flawed. You are perfectly you, and that’s just the way they want it! When you love and value you then, you are loving and valuing as the Divine does and thus you are loving and valuing the Divine!

Just like in the Bible, at the end of a creation day, God says, “and it is good,” let yourself realize that the Divine says this about you too. You as a creation are unique. There’s no one else just like you. You were designed that way. And you are good, right, and true. The Divine did a good job on you and the Divine wants YOU to be the best you, the highest, most beautifully resonant light being that you are. This will then be for them, the result of their magnificent creative design and plan for you.

Divine Parenting

You are also a “child” of God. This doesn’t mean that you remain emotionally a child all your life, with God being some patriarchal, stern Father Figure looming over you, the proverbial Old Man with a beard. He isn’t listening to your thoughts in order to pass judgment on you as to whether you are good or bad. That outlook is long gone, part of the Piscean Age.

You, as a child of God, have the Divine (your “parent”), wanting you to grow up into an adult, i.e. into the Divine yourself. If you have kids, do you want them to be forever little babies that you have to take care of and change diapers for? To continuously have to do everything for? No, you want them to grow up and discover who they are, to find themselves, to learn to love, to give and receive with others, and to do what makes them happy – because you love them. Once you’ve “launched” them, you want to enjoy them, love them as the people they have come to be, and befriend them, rather than have to take care of every life detail for them forever.

Of course, there are parents who are still parenting and judging their adult children, but that wasn’t the original plan. That’s part of parents not feeling they did a good enough job, thus trying to redeem themselves by taking on every stress of their adult children and to fix it. That’s dysfunctional and excessive, not to mention interfering. A good parent wants his or her children to make their own choices and learn how to be adults, mostly on their own (okay, maybe a wee bit of help here and there!)

So if you are still acting spiritually like a child, looking to God to do everything for you, and not being responsible for your own choices and your own life responses, you are expecting God to be like a dysfunctional human parent. This does not fulfill you or the Divine!

You see, this is a Free Will Universe. God wants you to be an adult and learn how to make your own choices. That’s why God seldom interferes and intervenes in your life. Your adult self is made up of the free, imaginative, playful child self, the curious and adventurous adolescent, and the dreamer and creator young adult self. Most all metaphysical, esoteric, mystical, and practical manifestation paths require that one grow up inside, i.e. emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Immature, ego-ridden, and irresponsible people haven’t grown up, and they don’t have access to real magic and miracles.

Now if you want your children to remain babies, then there is something terribly wrong with YOU! And if you want your children to achieve great success in the world, whether they are happy doing it or not, to support you in wealth in your old age, you are way off track! When you love your children, you want them to be who THEY really want to be. And if that means that they run off and join a cult, or take opposite sides from you in politics, or make terrible money and love choices, you still love them and want them to find their way.

If you go in and continuously intervene and take charge of their lives, they may never grow up and take responsibility for their actions. Yes, maybe in a total emergency rescue situation, you’ll want to do it. But for everyday life, it can be destructive for your child. I know this is a narrow and very difficult line to toe, but it comes with being a parent.

Gifts from the Divine

Fortunately God, Goddess, All That Is knows how to parent brilliantly! They gave you all the basic ingredients you need to create a life that functions well for you. These gifts are your talents, strengths, and gifts. But you have to grow up to access them consciously and apply them well.

The world has passed the times in which we as a race were unable to be conscious and aware. Consciousness is our pathway to the Divine. Since this is a Free Will Universe, if we choose not to develop those gifts, strengths, and talents given us, we will slide down into unconsciousness, be broke (emotionally and possibly financially), and find ourselves living a life that others, our leaders of tradition, have determined for us.

The way to access your gifts, talents, and strengths at optimum level is to value you. The Divine (God and Goddess) is all Value, complete and total Value, is it not? There is no lack of Value or anything else there. However, in our “fall” from the Divine Kingdom where we experienced the Oneness of all beings existing in the Divine Love, we perceive ourselves as being not valuable. The separation and emotional isolation we can feel can make us feel deprived of the love and grace of the Divine, flawed, even God’s mistakes, damaged goods! But the Divine never made a single flawed creature. So that excuse for not being successful and happy in your life doesn’t work!

The Negative Ego and You

When you can acknowledge your Divine Nature, you can see that you are valuable, loveable, worthy. Until you get to this place, however, you will continue to be sucked into the Dark Masculine and Dark Feminine energies within you. Those energies are reinforced by your Negative Ego, who is controlling, or trying to control, your Self-Image – i.e. how you view yourself. And the negative ego hates you and wants to destroy you.

I’m not going to go into how and why that is, but just know this. It believes that you are all crap and must be covered with a successful looking façade in order to hide your shame and inadequacies. And just when you think that this façade is real, your Negative Ego will rip it off to shame you in front of everyone. This is a deliberate sabotage, and usually comes as a shock and trauma for you.

Being that all is divine, why even have a Negative Ego? Well, when we chose to become physical, we chose to experience and create it ALL. We were fascinated with the idea of separation, of individualism, and of negativity. So we chose to explore these ideas through physical lifetimes. We didn’t start out deciding that our Ego would be a self-sabotaging one. But with our fascination for all things of the darkness, it was only a matter of time (holding us in 3D reality) before we’d explore the dark side of our Ego as well.

When you are born, your Ego is born with you. Your Ego holds the separation concept in place by having boundaries – limits that define You (inside the boundary) and what is Other (everything outside the boundary). This helps you grow, develop, and interact with your world and other people. If you didn’t have Ego, you wouldn’t know where you ended and others began. You wouldn’t be able to get onto any kind of Life Track, because there would be nothing to do and nowhere to go. You would just stay immersed in the ALL. So you NEED Ego to do your exploration and physical life adventures.

Now I have already shared with you an article that includes these details and more about the Ego. When you experienced Shame and with it, a lack of Self-Acceptance, your Self-Image began to hold a negative perspective of you and others. You became resistant, overly sensitive, and insecure, falling hostage to Dark energies, even though you wanted to grow up and become your Greater Self.

Your forgot your Mission, and your Ego turned negative. It dominated your Self Image with its immaturity, insecurity, ignorance, pettiness, and sense of isolation. And it opened up the dark realms of ego for you to explore, being a Narcissist, Self-Centered, Self-Important, Self-Serving, Self-Delusory, Self-Indulgent, and Self-Destructive.

The Negative Ego was thus able to maintain the shame and fear within you, hold you in fear and insecurity, and sustain a fear of loss of survival. You felt stressed and pressured to protect yourself and your Negative Ego at all costs, even if it meant losing love. Even when you manifested success, the Negative Ego was there, telling you that you were a sham, a fake, and that you have to work extra hard to protect your turf. Or you gave all your success to your Ego, thinking it was YOU who succeeded because you were so brilliant. But then, your Ego gleefully pulled the proverbial rug out from under you and you fell.

Now if you look at world leaders who are negative, egotistical, and self-serving, you wonder how are they able to get up there and sustain that level of power, success, and fame. Well, for one thing, they have a very different path from you and those of us who are on our Spiritual Homeward Path. Even though you may not like it, we may not have as great a level of power in the world as they, because we are not truly that excited about money. We want more joy, love, creativity, and personal freedom, and we are determined to step beyond the worldly ego stuff and merge with the Divine

My, my! You had to overcome all of that ego stress of losing and winning and losing again – quite a task! It’s amazing, I feel, that so many of us make it out of the pits of the Darkness into the Light. But then, this is our Destiny! I want to congratulate you here!

Just remember; even though you were shamed as a child and/or teen, that shamed self wasn’t really you. That shame is held in your Ego, that gives (or gave) your young life loads of drama and intense suffering, all the while hiding your real Light-Being self away, hidden from the “dark forces,” whatever they were perceived to be in your Dark Shadow. Eventually, you can believe that this hyper-reactive person you become, victimized, angry and rageful, or hurt and suppressed, is the real you.

You then totally fall prey to the gender training you received; the Man Code and the Good Girl Training are the names I give to the traditional trainings. If you were LBGTQ, you found these trainings completely untrue about you. Either way, falling for them or resisting them without an alternative, the trainings entrenched you more deeply into the Dark Masculine and Feminine energies, useful for you or not (mostly not!).

The Value Context

If you could access a more true self filled with value, you’d know that you had tremendous value. But a sense of having to compensate for lack of value or pretending to be important or worthy, good and nice in order to attract the positive attention of others rules your life, especially in adolescence. And this immaturity, based in your Negative Ego, can continue indefinitely. You don’t automatically grow up and out of it.

While your physical body grows up, your emotional body may not. To avoid feeling shame, many people refuse to feel and heal their emotional patterns. If you are one of them, you will know the talk (the good beliefs and philosophical principles of the Divine), but you will be unable to walk the walk (actualizing the Divine You into your daily life).

So even if you may consciously and mentally, philosophically, think that you are valuable, you may not have any real knowing or experience in feeling valuable. You may even secretly feel or believe that you are inherently worthless! Then your Negative Ego will aim your behavior into pretending to be a good person of value, hoping that others will like or love you. This outer validation is defined differently depending on your gender and training.

Either way, building your ego façade may make you appear to be valuable, but you are not showing your REAL value. You may be unconscious of how to express wisdom, love, and power true to you, and if you are, you’ll stay bottled up as you hide in fear of ridicule (or take the opposite approach of acting out and being bratty).

To break out of the grip of your Negative Ego and small, insignificant Self-Image, you have to deliberately build your Self-Value, your TRUE value. And this value has to be the context, the foundation underlying your emotional body, your perspective on life, and the basis of principles you live by.

As I have said times before, the context, i.e. the thoughts and feelings, the beliefs and attitudes, and the inner choices and decisions/strategies you hold determines the manifestation. When you want to create Value, you have to choose the Self-Image you wish to hold. You cannot wait for the world to tell you that you are valuable. It will not, except (maybe) for your mother! If you don’t build a context of Value, you will inevitably slide into the path leading to a smaller, lesser life, and if you don’t shift out of your Negative Ego Self and into your Positive Ego self, your life path can lead to self-sabotage and destruction.

So to lift out of the Negative Ego’s grasp on your image, build the pieces or  components of Self-Value. The concepts around Self-Value I give you here come from Lazaris seminars back in the 1980’s. I’ve learned them and applied myself to building my awareness of them and installing them into my psyche as a natural part of me. What I share with you is my take on them. For more info on the amazing Lazaris material see http://www.Lazaris.com.

So here are my notes, my observations, with some input from Galexis on clearing out the Negative Ego by installing a Self-Image of value.

And here’s a helpful hint on how to work with these 6 components. Before you start studying and working to build each one, check how strong each component is in your life. On a one-to-ten scale, rate the level of each component showing up in your life. Be truthful. This is your “before” test.

Then pay attention to the first component, Self-Awareness, and work with it. Choose a day or two (or more) and think about it all day as your keyword for the day (or week). Notice and observe your Self-Awareness, and the qualities of it. Study it a bit. Think about how it works in your life. Make choices about how you want to claim more Self-Awareness for yourself and what that would look like in your life. Then move on to Self-Worth and do the same.

Go through all the six this way in order and be organic about it. Let it unfold. When you’ve worked with one, move to the next one. Let this be as non-linear as you can. Do not discipline yourself and set time allotments. You see, these components are qualities that build upon each other. If you do this in order, it leverages you more quickly. When you’ve finished all six, then do another “test” to see what your numbers are, where they’ve risen, and where perhaps they haven’t. Think about why your numbers improved or didn’t.

Once you’ve finished going through them, go back to the first one and move through them again. You’ll gain richer insights with each cycle, move more fluidly through them, and you will also see your Self-Value beginning to reflect to you a more empowered, happy, and optimistic life. When you your numbers are more than 8 in every category, you will be already in your Greater Self, looking towards an even Greater Self!

Identify when your Negative Ego is “In”

Before you can build your Self Value components, you have to be able to identify when your Negative Ego is taking over and shift consciously by choice over to the Positive Ego, i.e. into your Greater Self. So you need to become aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and believing, as you talk in your mind all day to yourself.

Awareness is the door that opens you to your gifts, your power, your beauty, and your love. Most of all, awareness opens you to the messages and information that your Universe is sending to you through your life circumstances. This information empowers you to become ever Greater and more conscious of your divinity.

One of the keys that you need to be aware of, that tends to call the Negative Ego in, has to do with the self-absorption. In other words, paying tremendous attention to yourself, obsessing about yourself, staying focused on your issues and being oblivious to what other people are expressing of themselves or experiencing around you will keep you stuck in a tiny sliver of awareness. There’s a big world out here, and you need to know what you’re into and how you relate to the outer world. And you need to send energy out into the world as your radiance, not suck the life energy out of other people and make them focus on YOUR themes and issues.

Be aware of when the Negative Ego gives you certain emotional states. You should hoist a red flag if you feel paranoid, or feeling put-upon by people in the external environment. If you take what others do or say to you personally and even worry about what they think of you, bingo! You’ve found your Negative Ego! If you feel insecure in yourself and what you do, and compare yourself relentlessly against whatever other people are doing, you’ve found your Negative Ego!

If you are busy thinking about people and circumstances outside of you all the time, and feel somewhat victimized by the “powers that be,” your own inner sense of awareness and value has shrunk way down. You are a little, powerless person. Now your Negative Ego will take over and define your place in the world for you – no fun!

Remember, the ego is immature emotionally, ignorant of context and details, weak and insecure, and finally, naïve, but covering it up with a façade that attempts to project sophistication and smartness.

Beneath these insecurities and naiveté is a more subtle level where you can catch the Negative Ego and step free of its control. This is in the context. As I’ve mentioned before, you want to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, limiting beliefs, choices you’ve made, and judgements that your mind brings up around any circumstance or relationship you have.

For example, you have a circumstance where your ego basically says, “Well, I have no idea how to deal with this challenge, so I’ll see how I can run away or get out of it. I should know what to do but I don’t, so I’ll have to persuade other people that I do and that I’m not responsible here. Whatever I do, I have to avoid getting shamed, humiliated, or rejected. I’ll do whatever it takes!”
While this may seem like a good short-term strategy, and worked for you when you were a child, it doesn’t work for an adult. Your Negative Ego can also pressure you to compete with others, attack them verbally, play psychological or manipulative games on them, or otherwise cover your ignorance of how to wisely deal with any situation you have no idea how to manage. Your Ego basically tells you all the collective mythology of who you must be and who you must become, while not letting you know your true self and inner value.

Beneath that level of context, with its thoughts, feelings, and judgments, comes the bottom line layer of your reality, the foundation of your Self-Image. This is what you and your Negative Ego are competing for. Your Negative Ego wants you to think you are crap, or conversely, that you are a total god and perfect. You don’t get the truth from your Negative Ego. It’ll do anything it can to protect you from shame, or hide you from potential criticism of others, and it’ll do it like a 14 year old (if not like a spoiled 4 year old!).

The Power of Value

You see, when you perceive yourself as valuable, you take back over the part of your psyche that your Negative Ego had taken over years ago. Your Ego, Negative or Positive, cannot take away your context. It HAS to work according to your context. So if you value yourself, that context eliminates the control of the Negative Ego. It will continue to try and diminish you, judge you, or build up a fantasy picture of yourself, to lure you into following it as your guru, as your truth. But when you hold your value, it simply can’t get you to follow it.

YOU have the power here. If your Self-Awareness, Self-Worth¬, Self-Esteem, Self-Love, Self-Confidence and Self¬-Respect are high, the ego can’t find any way in to create drama. It can’t sneak in and convince you that your limitations and fears are real. It simply can’t do it. It can’t make you respond to the world from a lesser self’s point of view, either. Thus, the Negative Ego can NOT mess up your life (which it has been able to do very well in the past!)

When you hold a high resonance, you’re holding a Self-Valuing context that the negative ego cannot follow, undermine, or resist. When your Self-Value and love is strong, the Negative Ego is out of the picture and is replaced by your Positive Ego, the one you need in order to function in 3D.

So I suggest that you build up all six components I’m sharing here. Recognize each component, and how it impacts your life. For example, if your Self-Worth awareness is low, how will your life reflect that?

When your Valued-Self components are high, you will not tend to sabotage yourself any longer, or wander on your path. You will know where you are going, what you are doing, and why.


Just as I’ve already suggested to be aware of your Negative Ego shenanigans, Self-Awareness is seeing and knowing that you have impact on the world, on your life, and on the lives of others around you. You can also be aware of how you create your reality (i.e. impact your world) through your mind talk, that incessant chatter that goes on all day inside your head. You need also to be aware how the Universe responds to your choices, even if they are internal, psychological ones that are never expressed and that others don’t even know about.

You see, your world reflects to you understandings about yourself as you participate in it with other people. This is as it’s intended to be in your Divine Plan. All this feedback is part of your Path of knowing who you are, i.e. the Divine Being you are. If you respond to the world as if you are a victim of it, you will continually get victim scenarios presented to you. When you stop being a victim, the world will get much more supportive and friendly.

The impact in your world and your life depends on what you think, feel, and believe, i.e. the context you hold. So, ask yourself; are you aware that you are a participant and co-creator with the world? Are you aware of the impact of what you think, feel and do? Are you aware of your own divine nature? When you have that self-awareness level, you can step into your power and make Choices and Decisions about how to respond to the world, if at all.

You were born without Self-Awareness and had to grow into it. In childhood, you were automatically a victim of circumstances and led to believe that you had no impact on anyone else, but you were instead the victim of others’ impacts, especially your parents’. Don’t reinforce victimhood and immaturity. This attracts the Negative Ego. Choose to believe that you are a participant in the world. You have grown up now, and you are taking your place in your world, creating your life.

If you slip into inner child or adolescent states, your perspective will be that of a victim, or perhaps the sacrificial martyr to others. You will have a lot of fear and never feel safe. This feeling or belief that others can make a difference in our lives, but we don't in theirs will trigger fear-based choices and behaviors.  This reinforces a sense of victimhood and continues the negative loop.

When you forget your power or give it away to others in order to please them or to avoid conflict, you will have no choice but to follow what others’ (or the world) dictate. In adult relationships, you may still blame the other person for what they did to you. This is a lack of Self-Awareness. If you are still playing the victim anywhere, it is due largely to your lack of awareness of the role you play in your own life!

You can develop positive Self-Awareness by paying attention and being present. If you are irresponsible or unaccountable, you lack awareness, so look at your life and check out where you want to abdicate responsibility for your choices and behaviors. Don’t protect your ego. And stay out of Control mode. If you hurt someone or do something wrong, mean, or stupid, apologize sincerely.


Your Negative Ego is glad to show you where you are insecure about your relationship with others in the world, and even from the Divine itself. Are you worthy of love, respect, and caring attention from others? The spiritual answer is “yes!”

You are a divine being, and as such, you are always worthy of the best. The lowest-life criminal thief is also worthy, because he (or she) is a divine being. All divine beings deserve a great life. You probably think a great humanitarian or wealthy CEO of a company that has contributed something great to mankind is worthy, don’t you? And don’t you think all children should be protected and given every opportunity to have a great life?

Well, imagine how much MORE the Divine (God, Goddess, All That Is) feels about YOU. Imagine the Goddess as your Divine Mother, unconditionally loving her child, you. She values you unconditionally. If you don’t feel yourself worthy, you are basically telling her “I know more than you about me!” She won’t commandeer you to Her. You must take down your Ego Façade and the pretense that you know everything before you can see Her and let her love you. Don’t block the love and value coming to you!

Now you may have negative mind states and emotions, and you may fall for your Negative Ego at times. And you may still have shame lurking about in your subconscious mind, haunting you. But this still doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy. There is nothing you can do to earn worthiness. It’s a “given.” You are loved by the Divine just as you are! Have you ever loved your own child completely, no matter how many messes he or she made with the jam, or that the milk was spilled all over the carpet?

To build Self-Worth, regularly get in touch with your inner spirit. See the world around you as a spiritual manifestation of you co-creating with the Divine. Actively pursue a relationship with the Divine, connect with God, Goddess, All That Is, and if that’s too big of a project at first, connect with your Higher Self, Spiritual Guardian Angel, Spirit Counselor, or Master Teacher (if you have one). Talk with them daily, and give yourself pause and LISTEN to them. Feel their acceptance and love. If you don’t feel it, then imagine it. That will grease the channel of receiving it!

Whatever you do, do with integrity. If you want to laze about all day and watch old movies on TV and not think about any problem or issue, that is your choice. Make sure you give yourself permission CONSCIOUSLY to do that! That is seeing yourself worthy to have a day off, again, not because you have strived the rest of the week or achieved anything important. There’s no earning AT ALL. All the worth is intrinsically yours.

You deserve to be happy, so claim that. No sacrifices are required. However, do whatever you do with as much integrity, loving responsibility, and excellence you can. Seek within yourself and discover what are your principles that you wish to live by? Love? Empowerment? Freedom? Joy? Creativity? Beauty? What are the two or three abstract concept that thrills you and is most important to you? And that you will make choices based on?


Self-Esteem is how well are you doing, how much good stuff are you actually doing so that you can say, “Yeah! I’m feeling stronger and more capable in dealing with world stuff, with other people, and with my relationships.”

Unlike worth, Self-Esteem is not a “given.” Self-Esteem is earned. Early in life, you get esteem from your father or male father figures. A good father wants you to be productive and achieve good things, develop skills, and go for what you want to be happy and successful. A father twisted by the Man Code will put undue pressure on you to achieve so that he feels okay about himself. If you feel this pressure within you, then you may be a workaholic even if it’s not your temperament or makes you happy.

You have to learn how to earn your own Self-Esteem by being an adult; productive, responding intelligently to situations, forming your own opinions, and doing things that you can approve of, to yourself.

Self-Esteem is not earned from other people, no matter how nice you are to them, or what amazing things you do for them. Looking for esteem from others is called “outer validation,” and does NOT increase your sense of value within. Children and adolescents need outer validation, but not adults. If you give yourself away to outer validation, or you compete with others like dogs over a bone, you can lose your Self-Esteem. Not only that, you can feel powerless, guilty, and your creativity (a divine attribute you have) will be diminished. You can then also get hooked into trying to control things and being perfect, i.e. doing things better than anyone else. If you go this path, you will never be able to trust yourself or your Divine Plan.

You are an adult. You have learned to assign value and meaning to things in your life with your own sense of priorities. You are learning more and more how to value your own perspectives, empowering yourself, and doing good (right) actions. You earn your Self-Esteem by doing this, especially when you do it consciously with the intention of growing elegantly into your Greater Self.

Self-Esteem also involves living your life with character, not consciously hurting anyone, and being real. Be present. Have fun. Express yourself. Listen to your inner voices and be able to recognize who is talking in your daily mind talk, whether it’s your child self, adolescent self, inner Slave Driver, and especially the Negative Ego! If the voice comes from a smaller, lesser self, then you must lift your vibration on the spot into your Greater Self. Then listen again.

Learn from your past what worked and what didn’t. Be aware of your habits and patterns. Understand what motivates you and commit yourself to doing what is true and good for you. Then you will be able to trust yourself to make good choices and take right actions.

I know this sounds like a lot to do, but if you just take each piece one at a time and evaluate where you stand on it, you can make amazing and rapid strides in gaining Self-Esteem. And the reward of feeling Self-Esteem when you do something well, honoring yourself correctly, and being true to yourself is fabulous!


Self-Love is another “given.” The Divine (God, Goddess, All That Is) is Love and Love is the Divine. It is therefore natural that the Divine loves you, and as a divine being yourself, you are made out of love. So you naturally love yourself, care about yourself. Even if you put all sorts of judgments on yourself, or fear that you won’t be loved by others, this makes no difference in your loveableness. You are loveable, just like you are worthy. So how is the ego able to interfere with that?

If we didn’t have Self-Love, we wouldn’t have survived, and neither would the human race survive either. Many grownups in therapy feel they weren’t loved as children, but they were. We all were loved just enough to give us the awareness of our own love.

In the Dark levels, we can get caught up in survival, where in competition, we take care of ourselves ahead of everyone else, regardless of what happens to them. We can “other” everyone except those who do things for us or who we want to love us (such as family members). If we are afraid of losing love from others, and we fear that we are unloveable, we could be capable of trying to manipulate, dominate, and control them. This could lead in turn to dysfunctional co-dependent relationships, with passive-aggressive behavior. And this leads to great unhappiness, depression, and anxiety.

We get our first idea of love from our mothers. If your mother loved you “enough”, then you will feel loveable. You will allow others to love you. But then, some of us see mother’s love as controlling and dominating because our mothers did control and dominate us. So then love has a definition; “if I love, I will be controlled and taken advantage of the one I love.” This can make us hesitant to go for love when it’s available to us. And if we’ve been hurt and rejected by someone we loved, we may also define love as pain, as we carry armoring or psychic shields around our hearts. We may numb ourselves out and keep distant from love’s opportunities.

But the line from Shakespeare, “tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” applies here. Whenever you love deeply and richly, and fully, you will experience the grandest connection to the Divine available in life. And when you practice the awareness of Self-Love, you will find it easier to be visible and available for all kinds of love, not just romantic love. You’ll receive many magical gifts as whispers of love from the Divine.

Love connects you to Source, to the Divine. The more you practice loving others as well as yourself, the more you will experience the Divine in every heart and in every creature of creation. You will experience bliss as your everyday state and feel the Oneness of all beings, a truly high, ecstatic experience.

To develop the awareness of your Self-Love and practicing loving for yourself and others, here are some suggestions from Lazaris. First, care about yourself and what happens to you. Yes, care about others, but remember to care about yourself first. Only when you love yourself, do you truly understanding what loving is about and thus are able to beautifully love others as well.

Be responsible for the interactions you have with people. Don’t try to take over their lives or in the extreme, stay away from their concerns entirely. Encourage other people just as you would expect someone who loves you would encourage you to do what truly motivates you. Celebrate their victories with them and give a hand to them when they are suffering.

Help yourself and others feel free, cared for, and safe. Accept yourself and respectfully disagree with others when it’s appropriate. Value what they say and what you feel. Don’t prod them to change and improve themselves. They won’t feel loved if you do that.

Open yourself up to intimacy with yourself and also with others. Intimacy is intense. You go deep into another person and find the pluses as well as the minuses there. Allow another to see you too, deeply. Yes, it’s scary, but intimacy with yourself will free you from much of the fear of being intimate with another. Of course, vet them first. You don’t reveal your inner self to everyone – only to special ones. If they hurt you, you can be devastated. But if you love and value you, you can heal and move on.

Don’t hide yourself. Show up. Have patience with yourself and others, but don’t let yourself be manipulated or guilt-tripped. So often guilt is associated with love, especially with one or both parents. But remember, the Divine is not guilt-tripping you, and will never do so. There’s total acceptance and love for you from the Divine whatever you do or don’t do. So practice this love for others as well.

Finally, give to yourself and give to others, but don’t martyr yourself about it. Give only that which is joyous for you. Receive from the Divine and what you give to yourself, and receive from others. You are under no obligation to receive something that devalues you, restricts you, or pressures you to do things you don’t want. Be grateful to the love and caring you get from others. Receive compliments easily and graciously.

The joy of loving and giving of yourself, both to you and to others, is your reward. Don’t look for others to do stuff for you or give you money because they like or love you. Love another person the way YOU would want to be loved. And when it’s not some business exchange, you’ll find that love is rich, real, and deep – infinitely forever, and divine.


Self-Confidence is the ability to rely upon ourselves, upon our resources, and consciously hold the knowledge that we can cope with whatever comes up.  Self-Confidence is made up of all the previous aspects of self, integrated together. Out of the synergy of your Self-Awareness, Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, and Self-Love emerges Self-Confidence. You trust yourself to create the realities you need, plus realities you want.

About confidence, the essential thing is knowing that somehow or another things will work out okay. You will be able to manage whatever shows up. You can handle whatever comes your way. It won’t destroy you. This means also that you are aware of the Universe loving you, and being supportive and friendly. A big part of your confidence is knowing that you’ve got support from the Universe. It’s got your back. When you let yourself be supported and expect it, you will also see that you’re not going to be challenged with something that is beyond your capabilities of responding correctly to!

Self-Confidence, like Self-Esteem, must be developed and earned. Now remember, these value components are part of your Greater Self-Image, not your Ego image. The Negative Ego would want to brag here and pretend to be in charge. Or if one is religious, to trust in Jesus or God to take care of the self. I’m not talking about the lower aspects of Self-Confidence here, but the sense that you are destined to be free and create your own reality.

This new reality is not a tech start-up that goes huge, or winning the lotto, or working hard and making a fortune. It’s not capitalism, although businesses operate on a show of confidence. People who are not prepared can perhaps bluff their way into a high paying job. But this isn’t what I’m talking about either.

Yes, it takes courage to bluff your way into a great job, but you risk feeling like a fraud while there, and your Negative Ego will come to your aid with an Ego Façade to fake other people out. This will cause you problems, first because you lie (like the Negative Ego, the biggest liar amongst your inner personalities), but then because you have to live up to the lie and keep your lie hidden. It’s like the common plot of a Sitcom, but won’t feel like a laughing matter. Eventually, the lie will be revealed, and you will face whatever consequences come with that, especially the sabotage of your Negative Ego!

However, when you are genuinely confident, it is easy to create win-win solutions for yourself and others, and do well in life. You’ll have successful conclusions to challenges and life experiences, and enjoy inner strength.

By the time you’ve studied all the Self components to here, you are already aware of how confidence is not egotistical show or a façade you put out there to impress anyone. Now you should be clear about what the Negative Ego is and how to step out of it. You have also learned by now that when you see your own greatness, your majesty, and your magnificence, it is you seeing your Soul, the Divine in you, NOT your Negative Ego.

Thus, you are already beginning to see more of your Positive Ego. When your Positive Ego is more than the Negative Ego, you can work great magic, expect magic, and experience a magical life. The Positive Ego will bring to you all you need and want. Know and expect that the Universe is working for you.

Galexis sums this up with the basic mantra you use upon experiencing a crisis or challenge. Although I have put it into my newsletters numerous times, so you’ve read it multiple times, it bears repeating. It sums up Self-Confidence.

All is going according to plan, my divine plan. I’m on the Life Track of my Destiny and my destination is back Home with the Divine. Therefore I know that everything will turn out well.

So you can see that Self-Confidence will involve trust. This allows you to be open to new ideas, experiences, and circumstances without holding onto past “safe” routines. Self-Confidence will also support a true Hope, a real positive expectation that the future will be better than now, regardless of how your life looks at the moment. And when you have Self-Confidence, you will have courage to stretch beyond your old boundaries, and step into a grander life of your Dream Future.

To build Self-Confidence, work with trusting your Divine Plan. Keep reminding yourself of the support you’ve had with the Universe that has gotten you to this point, and expect that this support will continue. Also, keep expanding your luminosity in a meditative way so that your energy field remains bright and large. Claim your Divinity, imagine yourself a God-Being in training right now. You are a spiritual giant, 25 feet tall, with light spreading out from you thousands of feet (hundreds of meters), touching your world. Use your imagination and you’ll feel and see the difference in your life!


Since this is the trickiest one I feel, I want to share more about it, and go deeper into working with it. Self-Respect is the earned and developed appreciation and honoring of your emotions. Emotions give a person a necessary feedback as to what’s happening internally. And once identified, people can come to unique perspectives, to think and feel uniquely. They can understand themselves and see through psychological manipulations of others. By taking their power, people can channel emotions into motivation, passion, creativity, sex, and even community or political action.

For many people, the emotional body is the most difficult to handle, due to all the shame, pain, and traumas that can hide in there over the years. Like Pandora’s box, you fear opening the lid because who knows what devastating and overwhelming emotion will fly out!

Self-respect is extremely non-conformist. It’s very individual and very independent. That’s why it is squashed so much by the patriarchs and oligarchs, institutions, and cultural hegemony in order to control your behavior and to harness you to serve. Self-Respect is also key with handling the Negative Ego. When you are in touch with your inner truth, revealed through your emotions, you have knowing. And when you own your inner knowing, the gut-level knowing of truth, your truth, you can live by it. The Negative Ego requires you to be immature, i.e. not knowing your truth. So when you own your knowing, the Negative Ego is gone.

You can surely understand why the Dark Masculine, in its need to dominate and control, must ridicule emotion as weak, silly, or unnecessary, while championing cold logic and reason – reason perpetrated by the patriarchy through religion, science, and even the military. This dedication to reason and the denial of emotion serves those in control who can harm huge numbers of people without feeling any remorse, discount collateral damage during skirmishes, or undercut friends and family and then say “don’t take this personally; it’s just business.”

We live in a culture where the psychopaths and sociopaths tend to gravitate to the top, financially and politically. But if you try to be one of these uncaring, selfish people yourself, you don’t get the success they seem to. That’s because you’re on your Spiritual Path in this lifetime, and are here now to help bring in the New Life for you and to redream a New World for all. You absolutely must have connection with your emotions because emotions lead you to Love and Love leads you to Divine Union, your Spiritual Path’s destination!

So it is imperative to be conscious of your emotions and build Self-Respect. The Dark Feminine, especially, is filled with unprocessed, dark emotional states, such as shame, self-pity, guilt, worry, and insecurity. You cannot value yourself or step into your Greater Self and take these limiting feelings along with you.

When you stop denying, discounting, or diminishing your emotional responses to your life and to your own Self-Image, you will be flooded with greater understanding and wisdom! You are able to maintain your boundaries of self – not reinforce Negative Ego limitations – and say “no” with dignity and tact. You will respect yourself and gain the respect of others.

With Self-Respect, you feel the feelings that come with your thoughts and the thoughts that come with your feelings. You feel emotions in your body. You’ve had a “gut knowing” or perhaps you’ve suffered “heartbreak,” and felt the pain in your chest. Learn your own body’s way. Where does fear hang out in your body? Where does anger simmer? Where does old rage get stashed? Where do you put sorrow? Where do all these things fit in your body?

When you can feel it in your body, you notice, “I can feel there’s a shift there. I can feel a heaviness there.” This is your clue that there is something for you to be aware of. Perhaps it’s the Negative Ego pulling up old programs from the past. Or maybe, this is your chance to have a new response to an old repeating situation. You’ll also feel shifts in your body when you successfully make a new choice about your future. You’ll feel a lightness, a tingly happy energy.

So learn how to read your body’s signals. This also helps you maintain your Self-Respect. When you face an emotional situation, your body will get stressed, tense, tight. When you take right action, your body will release a lot of positive energy into you. Whenever I’ve processed someone in a private session and they make the shift in understanding, awareness, and perspective, they always have a physical response. Maybe their face flushes, their eyes have more luminosity, they breath more lightly, and their energy fields lighten up. I always look for that as feedback for me in any healing or processing work I do for myself as well.

Honor The Inner Personalities

In self-respect, you need to identify who it is that’s speaking in your head and honor whoever it is. You want to listen to what you hear and also what you feel about what you’re thinking and about what’s happening in your life.

You see, if you have emotional energies, thoughts and feelings in your head that seem to be coming from a smaller, lessor, more insecure you, you know it’s one or more of your younger inner selves – your child, adolescent, or young adult. So sense which one(s) it is and then in meditation give one or more of your younger inner selves more love, nurturing and caring. Immature thoughts and feelings come directly from your Negative Ego, but you can generally identify the time period in which you bought into those states of being, and thus heal either your child or your adolescent self.

Sometimes, a kind of correction of life for your young-adult self may be needed, just to get the young-adult off that automatic gender training track. And to get the Inner Slave Driver off your back. Just calm down the need to achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve. Or to do more, more, more. 

That’s in the self-respect. When you listen to your emotions and you feel your emotional nature; that will give you the tie-in to either the child, adolescent, or young-adult stuff.  Then you can go and deal with that in meditation and give them anything they need to get off your case and be satiated, fulfilled and happy.

When you live according to your feedback from the Universe, via your emotions, your body states, and your circumstances, you can be the co-creator and wise one you came to be. And if you’re already there, this can take you up another notch.

While Self-Awareness is your basic foundation, and opens you to seeing your relationship with your world, Self-Respect is already you as a co-creator making decisions about what you’re going to think, feel, believe, and do. You are now creating the context for your Greater Self that will eliminate the power of the Negative Ego.

Express Yourself

The way to build Self-Respect involves learning how to fully and completely, honestly and appropriately, express all your emotions. It’s not about being unhinged and ranting whenever you feel like it, freely acting out your anger and letting judgment fly about. Instead, express your emotions through meditative processes, and then also practice communicating those feelings in an adult manner with other people. As you practice, you will get more clear as well as expressive. You’ll be healthier and happier.

You’ve been trained to be dishonest around your emotions, telling little “white lies” in order not to hurt someone else, or even telling lies in order to manipulate others into liking you or even following you. But you need to be honest about what you feel. Don’t rationalize your social failures or stupid things you’ve done. Evaluate why you did what you did and create more awareness of your emotions so that you can handle them better the next time. This also helps you no longer fall prey to Negative Ego shenanigans.

It also means that you accept and take responsibility for successes too. Understand how you have grown and succeeded more. Don’t give your successes to your Negative Ego (“I got the job because I convinced the interviewers how fantastic I was”) but to your Spiritual Path (“I got the job because I was ready, prepared, and willing to receive it.”)

In any action that you choose to do, make sure it is in alignment with your principles. If your principle is to do whatever is more loving or more empowering, then you will do the actions that reflect that. You need at least two or three major principles to make your life choices and decisions around. Mine are empowerment, freedom, and creating a better future. I ask, “will this grant me more freedom, empower me more, and give me a bit of a better future?” If the answer is yes, then I proceed. This helps me trust myself and I know it will help you stay on your Path as well.


Self-Realization is the synergy of all the previous six Self-Value components. When your individual components are elevated and exalted, you can tap into the wholeness of your being, all the individual parts resonating in harmony, creating personal unity. This is peace and bliss. And here in Self-Realization, you have attained the ultimate pinnacle of your individuality. You know that you are divine and you also know how you are creating and co-creating your reality. You are capable of directing your Personal Mission as well as your Global Mission. You feel unlimited and Self-Actualized.

On the way to Self-Realization, you will have many ahas and breakthroughs. A big one is that your Negative Ego has taken over many levels of yourself. Galexis says this is like you living in a mansion. But you think you are the kitchen help and have a small room to live in. Gradually, you find a new door and open it, to find your old stuff lying there. Maybe a toy from childhood lies there, broken in pieces. Maybe an old chair you used to use. Stuff from the past will be in the room. Then you will realize it’s YOUR room. You’ll clean it up and move into it or expand from your tiny space to a larger one.

As you grow and learn, and become more, this process will repeat over and over as you claim room after room. Eventually, you will claim the whole mansion, your Divine Self. This is what you do with the Negative Ego. It’s taken over your life in the past, and as you grow, you open up more and more into territory previously owned and ruled by your Negative Ego – the servant who became your master. When you get the full context of value within you and act accordingly, you are aware of your Divine Selfhood.

Then you are no longer allowing the Negative Ego to rule your space. With the Negative Ego out, your Positive Ego is restored. It is the servant that brings to you whatever manifestation you ask for, the one who translates the frequencies of your Unconscious Mind into Physical Materiality.

One Last Attempt

There is still one more Negative Ego trick at the point of synergy waiting for you. You’ve heard the maxim, “the higher they go, the farther they fall?” That is the Ego’s Self-Destruction. You need to hold the correct awareness and context, as well as most importantly, your INTENTION to be a Divine Being of Light. If you don’t, then you could get lost in the phase of moving from the Old World to the New World, from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age.

This is a New World and you can choose the path of Destruction, the Nightmare Future, by your own Free Will. As I have mentioned several times before, the mythology of making something new requires that the old be destroyed. Like Jesus in the wilderness, you will be tempted as you come to the point of Self-Realization to have all worldly glory. But the devil is the Negative Ego who will make it very tempting to accede to it. Don’t.

Stay Aware. So many gurus and spiritual teachers have lost their way at this point. You don’t want to have to learn things the hard way that they learned. This is a New World of inclusion, love, harmony, peace between all peoples, respect for nature, and prosperity for all, not just the privileged few. You have come to help dream this. So now is not the time, to retire, no matter what your age is!


This article written by
Ginger Metraux, Ph.D.
"The Mystic Professor"

(c) 2017-2018, Ginger Metraux and Giniel, Inc., Encino, CA, USA