Building Self-Value
Sustaining Your Higher Resonance and Ending the Negative Ego's Dominance
The Greater Self's Value
I’ve
shared a lot about the Greater Self. We all have one. This Greater Self
is a future you who holds a greater vibratory energy field than you do.
It has more love, freedom, empowerment, and trust in your Divine Plan
than you do. When you step into the higher resonance of your Greater
Self, you can see through his or her eyes, and expand your perspective
on life to one of greater illumination and awareness.
When
you, through meditation (i.e. your intended awareness) can access your
Greater Self, you can also access more of that KNOWING of who you
really are and you can value yourself highly even if you aren’t
achieving anything or doing anything considered socially “productive.”
This is not an ego value, a “me me” value, but a richness of true value
and acceptance of yourself, the divine being you are, on all levels.
When
you love and value yourself just for being YOU, you are acting as the
Divine. You see, God, Goddess, All That Is loves you for being you.
They created you and they made no mistake. You are not flawed. You are
perfectly you, and that’s just the way they want it! When you love and
value you then, you are loving and valuing as the Divine does and thus
you are loving and valuing the Divine!
Just like in the Bible,
at the end of a creation day, God says, “and it is good,” let yourself
realize that the Divine says this about you too. You as a creation are
unique. There’s no one else just like you. You were designed that way.
And you are good, right, and true. The Divine did a good job on you and
the Divine wants YOU to be the best you, the highest, most beautifully
resonant light being that you are. This will then be for them, the
result of their magnificent creative design and plan for you.
Divine Parenting
You
are also a “child” of God. This doesn’t mean that you remain
emotionally a child all your life, with God being some patriarchal,
stern Father Figure looming over you, the proverbial Old Man with a
beard. He isn’t listening to your thoughts in order to pass judgment on
you as to whether you are good or bad. That outlook is long gone, part
of the Piscean Age.
You, as a child of God, have the Divine
(your “parent”), wanting you to grow up into an adult, i.e. into the
Divine yourself. If you have kids, do you want them to be forever
little babies that you have to take care of and change diapers for? To
continuously have to do everything for? No, you want them to grow up
and discover who they are, to find themselves, to learn to love, to
give and receive with others, and to do what makes them happy – because
you love them. Once you’ve “launched” them, you want to enjoy them,
love them as the people they have come to be, and befriend them, rather
than have to take care of every life detail for them forever.
Of
course, there are parents who are still parenting and judging their
adult children, but that wasn’t the original plan. That’s part of
parents not feeling they did a good enough job, thus trying to redeem
themselves by taking on every stress of their adult children and to fix
it. That’s dysfunctional and excessive, not to mention interfering. A
good parent wants his or her children to make their own choices and
learn how to be adults, mostly on their own (okay, maybe a wee bit of
help here and there!)
So if you are still acting spiritually
like a child, looking to God to do everything for you, and not being
responsible for your own choices and your own life responses, you are
expecting God to be like a dysfunctional human parent. This does not
fulfill you or the Divine!
You see, this is a Free Will
Universe. God wants you to be an adult and learn how to make your own
choices. That’s why God seldom interferes and intervenes in your life.
Your adult self is made up of the free, imaginative, playful child
self, the curious and adventurous adolescent, and the dreamer and
creator young adult self. Most all metaphysical, esoteric, mystical,
and practical manifestation paths require that one grow up inside, i.e.
emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Immature, ego-ridden, and
irresponsible people haven’t grown up, and they don’t have access to
real magic and miracles.
Now if you want your children to remain
babies, then there is something terribly wrong with YOU! And if you
want your children to achieve great success in the world, whether they
are happy doing it or not, to support you in wealth in your old age,
you are way off track! When you love your children, you want them to be
who THEY really want to be. And if that means that they run off and
join a cult, or take opposite sides from you in politics, or make
terrible money and love choices, you still love them and want them to
find their way.
If you go in and continuously intervene and
take charge of their lives, they may never grow up and take
responsibility for their actions. Yes, maybe in a total emergency
rescue situation, you’ll want to do it. But for everyday life, it can
be destructive for your child. I know this is a narrow and very
difficult line to toe, but it comes with being a parent.
Gifts from the Divine
Fortunately
God, Goddess, All That Is knows how to parent brilliantly! They gave
you all the basic ingredients you need to create a life that functions
well for you. These gifts are your talents, strengths, and gifts. But
you have to grow up to access them consciously and apply them well.
The
world has passed the times in which we as a race were unable to be
conscious and aware. Consciousness is our pathway to the Divine. Since
this is a Free Will Universe, if we choose not to develop those gifts,
strengths, and talents given us, we will slide down into
unconsciousness, be broke (emotionally and possibly financially), and
find ourselves living a life that others, our leaders of tradition,
have determined for us.
The way to access your gifts, talents,
and strengths at optimum level is to value you. The Divine (God and
Goddess) is all Value, complete and total Value, is it not? There is no
lack of Value or anything else there. However, in our “fall” from the
Divine Kingdom where we experienced the Oneness of all beings existing
in the Divine Love, we perceive ourselves as being not valuable. The
separation and emotional isolation we can feel can make us feel
deprived of the love and grace of the Divine, flawed, even God’s
mistakes, damaged goods! But the Divine never made a single flawed
creature. So that excuse for not being successful and happy in your
life doesn’t work!
The Negative Ego and You
When
you can acknowledge your Divine Nature, you can see that you are
valuable, loveable, worthy. Until you get to this place, however, you
will continue to be sucked into the Dark Masculine and Dark Feminine
energies within you. Those energies are reinforced by your Negative
Ego, who is controlling, or trying to control, your Self-Image – i.e.
how you view yourself. And the negative ego hates you and wants to
destroy you.
I’m not going to go into how and why that is, but
just know this. It believes that you are all crap and must be covered
with a successful looking façade in order to hide your shame and
inadequacies. And just when you think that this façade is real, your
Negative Ego will rip it off to shame you in front of everyone. This is
a deliberate sabotage, and usually comes as a shock and trauma for you.
Being
that all is divine, why even have a Negative Ego? Well, when we chose
to become physical, we chose to experience and create it ALL. We were
fascinated with the idea of separation, of individualism, and of
negativity. So we chose to explore these ideas through physical
lifetimes. We didn’t start out deciding that our Ego would be a
self-sabotaging one. But with our fascination for all things of the
darkness, it was only a matter of time (holding us in 3D reality)
before we’d explore the dark side of our Ego as well.
When you
are born, your Ego is born with you. Your Ego holds the separation
concept in place by having boundaries – limits that define You (inside
the boundary) and what is Other (everything outside the boundary). This
helps you grow, develop, and interact with your world and other people.
If you didn’t have Ego, you wouldn’t know where you ended and others
began. You wouldn’t be able to get onto any kind of Life Track, because
there would be nothing to do and nowhere to go. You would just stay
immersed in the ALL. So you NEED Ego to do your exploration and
physical life adventures.
Now I have already shared with you an
article that includes these details and more about the Ego. When you
experienced Shame and with it, a lack of Self-Acceptance, your
Self-Image began to hold a negative perspective of you and others. You
became resistant, overly sensitive, and insecure, falling hostage to
Dark energies, even though you wanted to grow up and become your
Greater Self.
Your forgot your Mission, and your Ego turned
negative. It dominated your Self Image with its immaturity, insecurity,
ignorance, pettiness, and sense of isolation. And it opened up the dark
realms of ego for you to explore, being a Narcissist, Self-Centered,
Self-Important, Self-Serving, Self-Delusory, Self-Indulgent, and
Self-Destructive.
The Negative Ego was thus able to maintain
the shame and fear within you, hold you in fear and insecurity, and
sustain a fear of loss of survival. You felt stressed and pressured to
protect yourself and your Negative Ego at all costs, even if it meant
losing love. Even when you manifested success, the Negative Ego was
there, telling you that you were a sham, a fake, and that you have to
work extra hard to protect your turf. Or you gave all your success to
your Ego, thinking it was YOU who succeeded because you were so
brilliant. But then, your Ego gleefully pulled the proverbial rug out
from under you and you fell.
Now if you look at world leaders
who are negative, egotistical, and self-serving, you wonder how are
they able to get up there and sustain that level of power, success, and
fame. Well, for one thing, they have a very different path from you and
those of us who are on our Spiritual Homeward Path. Even though you may
not like it, we may not have as great a level of power in the world as
they, because we are not truly that excited about money. We want more
joy, love, creativity, and personal freedom, and we are determined to
step beyond the worldly ego stuff and merge with the Divine
My,
my! You had to overcome all of that ego stress of losing and winning
and losing again – quite a task! It’s amazing, I feel, that so many of
us make it out of the pits of the Darkness into the Light. But then,
this is our Destiny! I want to congratulate you here!
Just
remember; even though you were shamed as a child and/or teen, that
shamed self wasn’t really you. That shame is held in your Ego, that
gives (or gave) your young life loads of drama and intense suffering,
all the while hiding your real Light-Being self away, hidden from the
“dark forces,” whatever they were perceived to be in your Dark Shadow.
Eventually, you can believe that this hyper-reactive person you become,
victimized, angry and rageful, or hurt and suppressed, is the real you.
You then totally fall prey to the gender training you received;
the Man Code and the Good Girl Training are the names I give to the
traditional trainings. If you were LBGTQ, you found these trainings
completely untrue about you. Either way, falling for them or resisting
them without an alternative, the trainings entrenched you more deeply
into the Dark Masculine and Feminine energies, useful for you or not
(mostly not!).
The Value Context
If
you could access a more true self filled with value, you’d know that
you had tremendous value. But a sense of having to compensate for lack
of value or pretending to be important or worthy, good and nice in
order to attract the positive attention of others rules your life,
especially in adolescence. And this immaturity, based in your Negative
Ego, can continue indefinitely. You don’t automatically grow up and out
of it.
While your physical body grows up, your emotional body
may not. To avoid feeling shame, many people refuse to feel and heal
their emotional patterns. If you are one of them, you will know the
talk (the good beliefs and philosophical principles of the Divine), but
you will be unable to walk the walk (actualizing the Divine You into
your daily life).
So even if you may consciously and mentally,
philosophically, think that you are valuable, you may not have any real
knowing or experience in feeling valuable. You may even secretly feel
or believe that you are inherently worthless! Then your Negative Ego
will aim your behavior into pretending to be a good person of value,
hoping that others will like or love you. This outer validation is
defined differently depending on your gender and training.
Either
way, building your ego façade may make you appear to be valuable, but
you are not showing your REAL value. You may be unconscious of how to
express wisdom, love, and power true to you, and if you are, you’ll
stay bottled up as you hide in fear of ridicule (or take the opposite
approach of acting out and being bratty).
To
break out of the grip of your Negative Ego and small, insignificant
Self-Image, you have to deliberately build your Self-Value, your TRUE
value. And this value has to be the context, the foundation underlying
your emotional body, your perspective on life, and the basis of
principles you live by.
As I have said times before, the
context, i.e. the thoughts and feelings, the beliefs and attitudes, and
the inner choices and decisions/strategies you hold determines the
manifestation. When you want to create Value, you have to choose the
Self-Image you wish to hold. You cannot wait for the world to tell you
that you are valuable. It will not, except (maybe) for your mother! If
you don’t build a context of Value, you will inevitably slide into the
path leading to a smaller, lesser life, and if you don’t shift out of
your Negative Ego Self and into your Positive Ego self, your life path
can lead to self-sabotage and destruction.
So to lift out of
the Negative Ego’s grasp on your image, build the pieces or
components of Self-Value. The concepts around Self-Value I give you
here come from Lazaris seminars back in the 1980’s. I’ve learned them
and applied myself to building my awareness of them and installing them
into my psyche as a natural part of me. What I share with you is my
take on them. For more info on the amazing Lazaris material see http://www.Lazaris.com.
So
here are my notes, my observations, with some input from Galexis on
clearing out the Negative Ego by installing a Self-Image of value.
And
here’s a helpful hint on how to work with these 6 components. Before
you start studying and working to build each one, check how strong each
component is in your life. On a one-to-ten scale, rate the level of
each component showing up in your life. Be truthful. This is your
“before” test.
Then pay attention to the first component,
Self-Awareness, and work with it. Choose a day or two (or more) and
think about it all day as your keyword for the day (or week). Notice
and observe your Self-Awareness, and the qualities of it. Study it a
bit. Think about how it works in your life. Make choices about how you
want to claim more Self-Awareness for yourself and what that would look
like in your life. Then move on to Self-Worth and do the same.
Go
through all the six this way in order and be organic about it. Let it
unfold. When you’ve worked with one, move to the next one. Let this be
as non-linear as you can. Do not discipline yourself and set time
allotments. You see, these components are qualities that build upon
each other. If you do this in order, it leverages you more quickly.
When you’ve finished all six, then do another “test” to see what your
numbers are, where they’ve risen, and where perhaps they haven’t. Think
about why your numbers improved or didn’t.
Once you’ve
finished going through them, go back to the first one and move through
them again. You’ll gain richer insights with each cycle, move more
fluidly through them, and you will also see your Self-Value beginning
to reflect to you a more empowered, happy, and optimistic life. When
you your numbers are more than 8 in every category, you will be already
in your Greater Self, looking towards an even Greater Self!
Identify when your Negative Ego is “In”
Before
you can build your Self Value components, you have to be able to
identify when your Negative Ego is taking over and shift consciously by
choice over to the Positive Ego, i.e. into your Greater Self. So you
need to become aware of what you are thinking, feeling, and believing,
as you talk in your mind all day to yourself.
Awareness is the
door that opens you to your gifts, your power, your beauty, and your
love. Most of all, awareness opens you to the messages and information
that your Universe is sending to you through your life circumstances.
This information empowers you to become ever Greater and more conscious
of your divinity.
One of the keys that you need to be aware
of, that tends to call the Negative Ego in, has to do with the
self-absorption. In other words, paying tremendous attention to
yourself, obsessing about yourself, staying focused on your issues and
being oblivious to what other people are expressing of themselves or
experiencing around you will keep you stuck in a tiny sliver of
awareness. There’s a big world out here, and you need to know what
you’re into and how you relate to the outer world. And you need to send
energy out into the world as your radiance, not suck the life energy
out of other people and make them focus on YOUR themes and issues.
Be
aware of when the Negative Ego gives you certain emotional states. You
should hoist a red flag if you feel paranoid, or feeling put-upon by
people in the external environment. If you take what others do or say
to you personally and even worry about what they think of you, bingo!
You’ve found your Negative Ego! If you feel insecure in yourself and
what you do, and compare yourself relentlessly against whatever other
people are doing, you’ve found your Negative Ego!
If you are
busy thinking about people and circumstances outside of you all the
time, and feel somewhat victimized by the “powers that be,” your own
inner sense of awareness and value has shrunk way down. You are a
little, powerless person. Now your Negative Ego will take over and
define your place in the world for you – no fun!
Remember, the
ego is immature emotionally, ignorant of context and details, weak and
insecure, and finally, naïve, but covering it up with a façade that
attempts to project sophistication and smartness.
Beneath
these insecurities and naiveté is a more subtle level where you can
catch the Negative Ego and step free of its control. This is in the
context. As I’ve mentioned before, you want to be aware of your
thoughts, feelings, attitudes, limiting beliefs, choices you’ve made,
and judgements that your mind brings up around any circumstance or
relationship you have.
For example, you have a circumstance
where your ego basically says, “Well, I have no idea how to deal with
this challenge, so I’ll see how I can run away or get out of it. I
should know what to do but I don’t, so I’ll have to persuade other
people that I do and that I’m not responsible here. Whatever I do, I
have to avoid getting shamed, humiliated, or rejected. I’ll do whatever
it takes!”
While this may seem like a good short-term
strategy, and worked for you when you were a child, it doesn’t work for
an adult. Your Negative Ego can also pressure you to compete with
others, attack them verbally, play psychological or manipulative games
on them, or otherwise cover your ignorance of how to wisely deal with
any situation you have no idea how to manage. Your Ego basically tells
you all the collective mythology of who you must be and who you must
become, while not letting you know your true self and inner value.
Beneath
that level of context, with its thoughts, feelings, and judgments,
comes the bottom line layer of your reality, the foundation of your
Self-Image. This is what you and your Negative Ego are competing for.
Your Negative Ego wants you to think you are crap, or conversely, that
you are a total god and perfect. You don’t get the truth from your
Negative Ego. It’ll do anything it can to protect you from shame, or
hide you from potential criticism of others, and it’ll do it like a 14
year old (if not like a spoiled 4 year old!).
The Power of Value
You
see, when you perceive yourself as valuable, you take back over the
part of your psyche that your Negative Ego had taken over years ago.
Your Ego, Negative or Positive, cannot take away your context. It HAS
to work according to your context. So if you value yourself, that
context eliminates the control of the Negative Ego. It will continue to
try and diminish you, judge you, or build up a fantasy picture of
yourself, to lure you into following it as your guru, as your truth.
But when you hold your value, it simply can’t get you to follow it.
YOU
have the power here. If your Self-Awareness, Self-Worth¬, Self-Esteem,
Self-Love, Self-Confidence and Self¬-Respect are high, the ego can’t
find any way in to create drama. It can’t sneak in and convince you
that your limitations and fears are real. It simply can’t do it. It
can’t make you respond to the world from a lesser self’s point of view,
either. Thus, the Negative Ego can NOT mess up your life (which it has
been able to do very well in the past!)
When you hold a high
resonance, you’re holding a Self-Valuing context that the negative ego
cannot follow, undermine, or resist. When your Self-Value and love is
strong, the Negative Ego is out of the picture and is replaced by your
Positive Ego, the one you need in order to function in 3D.
So
I suggest that you build up all six components I’m sharing here.
Recognize each component, and how it impacts your life. For example, if
your Self-Worth awareness is low, how will your life reflect that?
When
your Valued-Self components are high, you will not tend to sabotage
yourself any longer, or wander on your path. You will know where you
are going, what you are doing, and why.
Self-awareness
Just
as I’ve already suggested to be aware of your Negative Ego shenanigans,
Self-Awareness is seeing and knowing that you have impact on the world,
on your life, and on the lives of others around you. You can also be
aware of how you create your reality (i.e. impact your world) through
your mind talk, that incessant chatter that goes on all day inside your
head. You need also to be aware how the Universe responds to your
choices, even if they are internal, psychological ones that are never
expressed and that others don’t even know about.
You see, your
world reflects to you understandings about yourself as you participate
in it with other people. This is as it’s intended to be in your Divine
Plan. All this feedback is part of your Path of knowing who you are,
i.e. the Divine Being you are. If you respond to the world as if you
are a victim of it, you will continually get victim scenarios presented
to you. When you stop being a victim, the world will get much more
supportive and friendly.
The impact in your world and your life
depends on what you think, feel, and believe, i.e. the context you
hold. So, ask yourself; are you aware that you are a participant and
co-creator with the world? Are you aware of the impact of what you
think, feel and do? Are you aware of your own divine nature? When you
have that self-awareness level, you can step into your power and make
Choices and Decisions about how to respond to the world, if at all.
You
were born without Self-Awareness and had to grow into it. In childhood,
you were automatically a victim of circumstances and led to believe
that you had no impact on anyone else, but you were instead the victim
of others’ impacts, especially your parents’. Don’t reinforce
victimhood and immaturity. This attracts the Negative Ego. Choose to
believe that you are a participant in the world. You have grown up now,
and you are taking your place in your world, creating your life.
If
you slip into inner child or adolescent states, your perspective will
be that of a victim, or perhaps the sacrificial martyr to others. You
will have a lot of fear and never feel safe. This feeling or belief
that others can make a difference in our lives, but we don't in theirs
will trigger fear-based choices and behaviors. This reinforces a
sense of victimhood and continues the negative loop.
When you
forget your power or give it away to others in order to please them or
to avoid conflict, you will have no choice but to follow what others’
(or the world) dictate. In adult relationships, you may still blame the
other person for what they did to you. This is a lack of
Self-Awareness. If you are still playing the victim anywhere, it is due
largely to your lack of awareness of the role you play in your own life!
You
can develop positive Self-Awareness by paying attention and being
present. If you are irresponsible or unaccountable, you lack awareness,
so look at your life and check out where you want to abdicate
responsibility for your choices and behaviors. Don’t protect your ego.
And stay out of Control mode. If you hurt someone or do something
wrong, mean, or stupid, apologize sincerely.
Self-Worth
Your
Negative Ego is glad to show you where you are insecure about your
relationship with others in the world, and even from the Divine itself.
Are you worthy of love, respect, and caring attention from others? The
spiritual answer is “yes!”
You are a divine being, and as
such, you are always worthy of the best. The lowest-life criminal thief
is also worthy, because he (or she) is a divine being. All divine
beings deserve a great life. You probably think a great humanitarian or
wealthy CEO of a company that has contributed something great to
mankind is worthy, don’t you? And don’t you think all children should
be protected and given every opportunity to have a great life?
Well,
imagine how much MORE the Divine (God, Goddess, All That Is) feels
about YOU. Imagine the Goddess as your Divine Mother, unconditionally
loving her child, you. She values you unconditionally. If you don’t
feel yourself worthy, you are basically telling her “I know more than
you about me!” She won’t commandeer you to Her. You must take down your
Ego Façade and the pretense that you know everything before you can see
Her and let her love you. Don’t block the love and value coming to you!
Now
you may have negative mind states and emotions, and you may fall for
your Negative Ego at times. And you may still have shame lurking about
in your subconscious mind, haunting you. But this still doesn’t mean
you aren’t worthy. There is nothing you can do to earn worthiness. It’s
a “given.” You are loved by the Divine just as you are! Have you ever
loved your own child completely, no matter how many messes he or she
made with the jam, or that the milk was spilled all over the carpet?
To
build Self-Worth, regularly get in touch with your inner spirit. See
the world around you as a spiritual manifestation of you co-creating
with the Divine. Actively pursue a relationship with the Divine,
connect with God, Goddess, All That Is, and if that’s too big of a
project at first, connect with your Higher Self, Spiritual Guardian
Angel, Spirit Counselor, or Master Teacher (if you have one). Talk with
them daily, and give yourself pause and LISTEN to them. Feel their
acceptance and love. If you don’t feel it, then imagine it. That will
grease the channel of receiving it!
Whatever you do, do with
integrity. If you want to laze about all day and watch old movies on TV
and not think about any problem or issue, that is your choice. Make
sure you give yourself permission CONSCIOUSLY to do that! That is
seeing yourself worthy to have a day off, again, not because you have
strived the rest of the week or achieved anything important. There’s no
earning AT ALL. All the worth is intrinsically yours.
You
deserve to be happy, so claim that. No sacrifices are required.
However, do whatever you do with as much integrity, loving
responsibility, and excellence you can. Seek within yourself and
discover what are your principles that you wish to live by? Love?
Empowerment? Freedom? Joy? Creativity? Beauty? What are the two or
three abstract concept that thrills you and is most important to you?
And that you will make choices based on?
Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem
is how well are you doing, how much good stuff are you actually doing
so that you can say, “Yeah! I’m feeling stronger and more capable in
dealing with world stuff, with other people, and with my
relationships.”
Unlike worth, Self-Esteem is not a “given.”
Self-Esteem is earned. Early in life, you get esteem from your father
or male father figures. A good father wants you to be productive and
achieve good things, develop skills, and go for what you want to be
happy and successful. A father twisted by the Man Code will put undue
pressure on you to achieve so that he feels okay about himself. If you
feel this pressure within you, then you may be a workaholic even if
it’s not your temperament or makes you happy.
You have to
learn how to earn your own Self-Esteem by being an adult; productive,
responding intelligently to situations, forming your own opinions, and
doing things that you can approve of, to yourself.
Self-Esteem
is not earned from other people, no matter how nice you are to them, or
what amazing things you do for them. Looking for esteem from others is
called “outer validation,” and does NOT increase your sense of value
within. Children and adolescents need outer validation, but not adults.
If you give yourself away to outer validation, or you compete with
others like dogs over a bone, you can lose your Self-Esteem. Not only
that, you can feel powerless, guilty, and your creativity (a divine
attribute you have) will be diminished. You can then also get hooked
into trying to control things and being perfect, i.e. doing things
better than anyone else. If you go this path, you will never be able to
trust yourself or your Divine Plan.
You are an adult. You have
learned to assign value and meaning to things in your life with your
own sense of priorities. You are learning more and more how to value
your own perspectives, empowering yourself, and doing good (right)
actions. You earn your Self-Esteem by doing this, especially when you
do it consciously with the intention of growing elegantly into your
Greater Self.
Self-Esteem also involves living your life with
character, not consciously hurting anyone, and being real. Be present.
Have fun. Express yourself. Listen to your inner voices and be able to
recognize who is talking in your daily mind talk, whether it’s your
child self, adolescent self, inner Slave Driver, and especially the
Negative Ego! If the voice comes from a smaller, lesser self, then you
must lift your vibration on the spot into your Greater Self. Then
listen again.
Learn from your past what worked and what
didn’t. Be aware of your habits and patterns. Understand what motivates
you and commit yourself to doing what is true and good for you. Then
you will be able to trust yourself to make good choices and take right
actions.
I know this sounds like a lot to do, but if you just
take each piece one at a time and evaluate where you stand on it, you
can make amazing and rapid strides in gaining Self-Esteem. And the
reward of feeling Self-Esteem when you do something well, honoring
yourself correctly, and being true to yourself is fabulous!
Self-Love
Self-Love
is another “given.” The Divine (God, Goddess, All That Is) is Love and
Love is the Divine. It is therefore natural that the Divine loves you,
and as a divine being yourself, you are made out of love. So you
naturally love yourself, care about yourself. Even if you put all sorts
of judgments on yourself, or fear that you won’t be loved by others,
this makes no difference in your loveableness. You are loveable, just
like you are worthy. So how is the ego able to interfere with that?
If
we didn’t have Self-Love, we wouldn’t have survived, and neither would
the human race survive either. Many grownups in therapy feel they
weren’t loved as children, but they were. We all were loved just enough
to give us the awareness of our own love.
In the Dark levels,
we can get caught up in survival, where in competition, we take care of
ourselves ahead of everyone else, regardless of what happens to them.
We can “other” everyone except those who do things for us or who we
want to love us (such as family members). If we are afraid of losing
love from others, and we fear that we are unloveable, we could be
capable of trying to manipulate, dominate, and control them. This could
lead in turn to dysfunctional co-dependent relationships, with
passive-aggressive behavior. And this leads to great unhappiness,
depression, and anxiety.
We get our first idea of love from our
mothers. If your mother loved you “enough”, then you will feel
loveable. You will allow others to love you. But then, some of us see
mother’s love as controlling and dominating because our mothers did
control and dominate us. So then love has a definition; “if I love, I
will be controlled and taken advantage of the one I love.” This can
make us hesitant to go for love when it’s available to us. And if we’ve
been hurt and rejected by someone we loved, we may also define love as
pain, as we carry armoring or psychic shields around our hearts. We may
numb ourselves out and keep distant from love’s opportunities.
But
the line from Shakespeare, “tis better to have loved and lost than
never to have loved at all” applies here. Whenever you love deeply and
richly, and fully, you will experience the grandest connection to the
Divine available in life. And when you practice the awareness of
Self-Love, you will find it easier to be visible and available for all
kinds of love, not just romantic love. You’ll receive many magical
gifts as whispers of love from the Divine.
Love connects you to
Source, to the Divine. The more you practice loving others as well as
yourself, the more you will experience the Divine in every heart and in
every creature of creation. You will experience bliss as your everyday
state and feel the Oneness of all beings, a truly high, ecstatic
experience.
To develop the awareness of your Self-Love and
practicing loving for yourself and others, here are some suggestions
from Lazaris. First, care about yourself and what happens to you. Yes,
care about others, but remember to care about yourself first. Only when
you love yourself, do you truly understanding what loving is about and
thus are able to beautifully love others as well.
Be
responsible for the interactions you have with people. Don’t try to
take over their lives or in the extreme, stay away from their concerns
entirely. Encourage other people just as you would expect someone who
loves you would encourage you to do what truly motivates you. Celebrate
their victories with them and give a hand to them when they are
suffering.
Help yourself and others feel free, cared for, and
safe. Accept yourself and respectfully disagree with others when it’s
appropriate. Value what they say and what you feel. Don’t prod them to
change and improve themselves. They won’t feel loved if you do that.
Open
yourself up to intimacy with yourself and also with others. Intimacy is
intense. You go deep into another person and find the pluses as well as
the minuses there. Allow another to see you too, deeply. Yes, it’s
scary, but intimacy with yourself will free you from much of the fear
of being intimate with another. Of course, vet them first. You don’t
reveal your inner self to everyone – only to special ones. If they hurt
you, you can be devastated. But if you love and value you, you can heal
and move on.
Don’t hide yourself. Show up. Have patience with
yourself and others, but don’t let yourself be manipulated or
guilt-tripped. So often guilt is associated with love, especially with
one or both parents. But remember, the Divine is not guilt-tripping
you, and will never do so. There’s total acceptance and love for you
from the Divine whatever you do or don’t do. So practice this love for
others as well.
Finally, give to yourself and give to others,
but don’t martyr yourself about it. Give only that which is joyous for
you. Receive from the Divine and what you give to yourself, and receive
from others. You are under no obligation to receive something that
devalues you, restricts you, or pressures you to do things you don’t
want. Be grateful to the love and caring you get from others. Receive
compliments easily and graciously.
The joy of loving and
giving of yourself, both to you and to others, is your reward. Don’t
look for others to do stuff for you or give you money because they like
or love you. Love another person the way YOU would want to be loved.
And when it’s not some business exchange, you’ll find that love is
rich, real, and deep – infinitely forever, and divine.
Self-Confidence
Self-Confidence
is the ability to rely upon ourselves, upon our resources, and
consciously hold the knowledge that we can cope with whatever comes
up. Self-Confidence is made up of all the previous aspects of
self, integrated together. Out of the synergy of your Self-Awareness,
Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, and Self-Love emerges Self-Confidence. You
trust yourself to create the realities you need, plus realities you
want.
About confidence, the essential thing is knowing that
somehow or another things will work out okay. You will be able to
manage whatever shows up. You can handle whatever comes your way. It
won’t destroy you. This means also that you are aware of the Universe
loving you, and being supportive and friendly. A big part of your
confidence is knowing that you’ve got support from the Universe. It’s
got your back. When you let yourself be supported and expect it, you
will also see that you’re not going to be challenged with something
that is beyond your capabilities of responding correctly to!
Self-Confidence,
like Self-Esteem, must be developed and earned. Now remember, these
value components are part of your Greater Self-Image, not your Ego
image. The Negative Ego would want to brag here and pretend to be in
charge. Or if one is religious, to trust in Jesus or God to take care
of the self. I’m not talking about the lower aspects of Self-Confidence
here, but the sense that you are destined to be free and create your
own reality.
This new reality is not a tech start-up that goes
huge, or winning the lotto, or working hard and making a fortune. It’s
not capitalism, although businesses operate on a show of confidence.
People who are not prepared can perhaps bluff their way into a high
paying job. But this isn’t what I’m talking about either.
Yes,
it takes courage to bluff your way into a great job, but you risk
feeling like a fraud while there, and your Negative Ego will come to
your aid with an Ego Façade to fake other people out. This will cause
you problems, first because you lie (like the Negative Ego, the biggest
liar amongst your inner personalities), but then because you have to
live up to the lie and keep your lie hidden. It’s like the common plot
of a Sitcom, but won’t feel like a laughing matter. Eventually, the lie
will be revealed, and you will face whatever consequences come with
that, especially the sabotage of your Negative Ego!
However,
when you are genuinely confident, it is easy to create win-win
solutions for yourself and others, and do well in life. You’ll have
successful conclusions to challenges and life experiences, and enjoy
inner strength.
By the time you’ve studied all the Self
components to here, you are already aware of how confidence is not
egotistical show or a façade you put out there to impress anyone. Now
you should be clear about what the Negative Ego is and how to step out
of it. You have also learned by now that when you see your own
greatness, your majesty, and your magnificence, it is you seeing your
Soul, the Divine in you, NOT your Negative Ego.
Thus, you are
already beginning to see more of your Positive Ego. When your Positive
Ego is more than the Negative Ego, you can work great magic, expect
magic, and experience a magical life. The Positive Ego will bring to
you all you need and want. Know and expect that the Universe is working
for you.
Galexis sums this up with the basic mantra you use upon
experiencing a crisis or challenge. Although I have put it into my
newsletters numerous times, so you’ve read it multiple times, it bears
repeating. It sums up Self-Confidence.
All
is going according to plan, my divine plan. I’m on the Life Track of my
Destiny and my destination is back Home with the Divine. Therefore I
know that everything will turn out well.
So you can see
that Self-Confidence will involve trust. This allows you to be open to
new ideas, experiences, and circumstances without holding onto past
“safe” routines. Self-Confidence will also support a true Hope, a real
positive expectation that the future will be better than now,
regardless of how your life looks at the moment. And when you have
Self-Confidence, you will have courage to stretch beyond your old
boundaries, and step into a grander life of your Dream Future.
To
build Self-Confidence, work with trusting your Divine Plan. Keep
reminding yourself of the support you’ve had with the Universe that has
gotten you to this point, and expect that this support will continue.
Also, keep expanding your luminosity in a meditative way so that your
energy field remains bright and large. Claim your Divinity, imagine
yourself a God-Being in training right now. You are a spiritual giant,
25 feet tall, with light spreading out from you thousands of feet
(hundreds of meters), touching your world. Use your imagination and
you’ll feel and see the difference in your life!
Self-Respect
Since
this is the trickiest one I feel, I want to share more about it, and go
deeper into working with it. Self-Respect is the earned and developed
appreciation and honoring of your emotions. Emotions give a person a
necessary feedback as to what’s happening internally. And once
identified, people can come to unique perspectives, to think and feel
uniquely. They can understand themselves and see through psychological
manipulations of others. By taking their power, people can channel
emotions into motivation, passion, creativity, sex, and even community
or political action.
For many people, the emotional body is
the most difficult to handle, due to all the shame, pain, and traumas
that can hide in there over the years. Like Pandora’s box, you fear
opening the lid because who knows what devastating and overwhelming
emotion will fly out!
Self-respect is extremely non-conformist.
It’s very individual and very independent. That’s why it is squashed so
much by the patriarchs and oligarchs, institutions, and cultural
hegemony in order to control your behavior and to harness you to serve.
Self-Respect is also key with handling the Negative Ego. When you are
in touch with your inner truth, revealed through your emotions, you
have knowing. And when you own your inner knowing, the gut-level
knowing of truth, your truth, you can live by it. The Negative Ego
requires you to be immature, i.e. not knowing your truth. So when you
own your knowing, the Negative Ego is gone.
You can surely
understand why the Dark Masculine, in its need to dominate and control,
must ridicule emotion as weak, silly, or unnecessary, while championing
cold logic and reason – reason perpetrated by the patriarchy through
religion, science, and even the military. This dedication to reason and
the denial of emotion serves those in control who can harm huge numbers
of people without feeling any remorse, discount collateral damage
during skirmishes, or undercut friends and family and then say “don’t
take this personally; it’s just business.”
We live in a culture
where the psychopaths and sociopaths tend to gravitate to the top,
financially and politically. But if you try to be one of these
uncaring, selfish people yourself, you don’t get the success they seem
to. That’s because you’re on your Spiritual Path in this lifetime, and
are here now to help bring in the New Life for you and to redream a New
World for all. You absolutely must have connection with your emotions
because emotions lead you to Love and Love leads you to Divine Union,
your Spiritual Path’s destination!
So it is imperative to be
conscious of your emotions and build Self-Respect. The Dark Feminine,
especially, is filled with unprocessed, dark emotional states, such as
shame, self-pity, guilt, worry, and insecurity. You cannot value
yourself or step into your Greater Self and take these limiting
feelings along with you.
When you stop denying, discounting, or
diminishing your emotional responses to your life and to your own
Self-Image, you will be flooded with greater understanding and wisdom!
You are able to maintain your boundaries of self – not reinforce
Negative Ego limitations – and say “no” with dignity and tact. You will
respect yourself and gain the respect of others.
With
Self-Respect, you feel the feelings that come with your thoughts and
the thoughts that come with your feelings. You feel emotions in your
body. You’ve had a “gut knowing” or perhaps you’ve suffered
“heartbreak,” and felt the pain in your chest. Learn your own body’s
way. Where does fear hang out in your body? Where does anger simmer?
Where does old rage get stashed? Where do you put sorrow? Where do all
these things fit in your body?
When you can feel it in your
body, you notice, “I can feel there’s a shift there. I can feel a
heaviness there.” This is your clue that there is something for you to
be aware of. Perhaps it’s the Negative Ego pulling up old programs from
the past. Or maybe, this is your chance to have a new response to an
old repeating situation. You’ll also feel shifts in your body when you
successfully make a new choice about your future. You’ll feel a
lightness, a tingly happy energy.
So learn how to read your
body’s signals. This also helps you maintain your Self-Respect. When
you face an emotional situation, your body will get stressed, tense,
tight. When you take right action, your body will release a lot of
positive energy into you. Whenever I’ve processed someone in a private
session and they make the shift in understanding, awareness, and
perspective, they always have a physical response. Maybe their face
flushes, their eyes have more luminosity, they breath more lightly, and
their energy fields lighten up. I always look for that as feedback for
me in any healing or processing work I do for myself as well.
Honor The Inner Personalities
In
self-respect, you need to identify who it is that’s speaking in your
head and honor whoever it is. You want to listen to what you hear and
also what you feel about what you’re thinking and about what’s
happening in your life.
You see, if you have emotional energies,
thoughts and feelings in your head that seem to be coming from a
smaller, lessor, more insecure you, you know it’s one or more of your
younger inner selves – your child, adolescent, or young adult. So sense
which one(s) it is and then in meditation give one or more of your
younger inner selves more love, nurturing and caring. Immature thoughts
and feelings come directly from your Negative Ego, but you can
generally identify the time period in which you bought into those
states of being, and thus heal either your child or your adolescent
self.
Sometimes, a kind of correction of life for your
young-adult self may be needed, just to get the young-adult off that
automatic gender training track. And to get the Inner Slave Driver off
your back. Just calm down the need to achieve, achieve, achieve,
achieve. Or to do more, more, more.
That’s in the
self-respect. When you listen to your emotions and you feel your
emotional nature; that will give you the tie-in to either the child,
adolescent, or young-adult stuff. Then you can go and deal with
that in meditation and give them anything they need to get off your
case and be satiated, fulfilled and happy.
When you live
according to your feedback from the Universe, via your emotions, your
body states, and your circumstances, you can be the co-creator and wise
one you came to be. And if you’re already there, this can take you up
another notch.
While Self-Awareness is your basic foundation,
and opens you to seeing your relationship with your world, Self-Respect
is already you as a co-creator making decisions about what you’re going
to think, feel, believe, and do. You are now creating the context for
your Greater Self that will eliminate the power of the Negative Ego.
Express Yourself
The
way to build Self-Respect involves learning how to fully and
completely, honestly and appropriately, express all your emotions. It’s
not about being unhinged and ranting whenever you feel like it, freely
acting out your anger and letting judgment fly about. Instead, express
your emotions through meditative processes, and then also practice
communicating those feelings in an adult manner with other people. As
you practice, you will get more clear as well as expressive. You’ll be
healthier and happier.
You’ve been trained to be dishonest
around your emotions, telling little “white lies” in order not to hurt
someone else, or even telling lies in order to manipulate others into
liking you or even following you. But you need to be honest about what
you feel. Don’t rationalize your social failures or stupid things
you’ve done. Evaluate why you did what you did and create more
awareness of your emotions so that you can handle them better the next
time. This also helps you no longer fall prey to Negative Ego
shenanigans.
It also means that you accept and take
responsibility for successes too. Understand how you have grown and
succeeded more. Don’t give your successes to your Negative Ego (“I got
the job because I convinced the interviewers how fantastic I was”) but
to your Spiritual Path (“I got the job because I was ready, prepared,
and willing to receive it.”)
In any action that you choose to
do, make sure it is in alignment with your principles. If your
principle is to do whatever is more loving or more empowering, then you
will do the actions that reflect that. You need at least two or three
major principles to make your life choices and decisions around. Mine
are empowerment, freedom, and creating a better future. I ask, “will
this grant me more freedom, empower me more, and give me a bit of a
better future?” If the answer is yes, then I proceed. This helps me
trust myself and I know it will help you stay on your Path as well.
Self-Realization
Self-Realization
is the synergy of all the previous six Self-Value components. When your
individual components are elevated and exalted, you can tap into the
wholeness of your being, all the individual parts resonating in
harmony, creating personal unity. This is peace and bliss. And here in
Self-Realization, you have attained the ultimate pinnacle of your
individuality. You know that you are divine and you also know how you
are creating and co-creating your reality. You are capable of directing
your Personal Mission as well as your Global Mission. You feel
unlimited and Self-Actualized.
On the way to Self-Realization,
you will have many ahas and breakthroughs. A big one is that your
Negative Ego has taken over many levels of yourself. Galexis says this
is like you living in a mansion. But you think you are the kitchen help
and have a small room to live in. Gradually, you find a new door and
open it, to find your old stuff lying there. Maybe a toy from childhood
lies there, broken in pieces. Maybe an old chair you used to use. Stuff
from the past will be in the room. Then you will realize it’s YOUR
room. You’ll clean it up and move into it or expand from your tiny
space to a larger one.
As you grow and learn, and become more,
this process will repeat over and over as you claim room after room.
Eventually, you will claim the whole mansion, your Divine Self. This is
what you do with the Negative Ego. It’s taken over your life in the
past, and as you grow, you open up more and more into territory
previously owned and ruled by your Negative Ego – the servant who
became your master. When you get the full context of value within you
and act accordingly, you are aware of your Divine Selfhood.
Then
you are no longer allowing the Negative Ego to rule your space. With
the Negative Ego out, your Positive Ego is restored. It is the servant
that brings to you whatever manifestation you ask for, the one who
translates the frequencies of your Unconscious Mind into Physical
Materiality.
One Last Attempt
There
is still one more Negative Ego trick at the point of synergy waiting
for you. You’ve heard the maxim, “the higher they go, the farther they
fall?” That is the Ego’s Self-Destruction. You need to hold the correct
awareness and context, as well as most importantly, your INTENTION to
be a Divine Being of Light. If you don’t, then you could get lost in
the phase of moving from the Old World to the New World, from the
Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age.
This is a New World and you
can choose the path of Destruction, the Nightmare Future, by your own
Free Will. As I have mentioned several times before, the mythology of
making something new requires that the old be destroyed. Like Jesus in
the wilderness, you will be tempted as you come to the point of
Self-Realization to have all worldly glory. But the devil is the
Negative Ego who will make it very tempting to accede to it. Don’t.
Stay
Aware. So many gurus and spiritual teachers have lost their way at this
point. You don’t want to have to learn things the hard way that they
learned. This is a New World of inclusion, love, harmony, peace between
all peoples, respect for nature, and prosperity for all, not just the
privileged few. You have come to help dream this. So now is not the
time, to retire, no matter what your age is!
Blessings,
Ginger
This article written by
Ginger Metraux, Ph.D.
"The Mystic Professor"
(c) 2017-2018, Ginger Metraux and Giniel, Inc., Encino, CA, USA |